JESUS LUVS U :D

unfair shit

2010-11-16T22:31:00.002+08:00

at times, it's not that i'm not hurting
or that i get over things fast
i choose to divert my thoughts away from it
and tell myself "it's in the past"

there is an unwillingness in me
to just take everything as it is
cause is it really me that is the thorn
or is it high expectations

there is a cry in me
that yells "UNFAIR! THIS IS UNFAIR"
i don't think i deserved it. i really don't

but at the end of the day,
i make peace with people
i'm always the one who give in
so much so, i wonder if there is just anyone who actually stands by me

try being screamed at, scolded or told off for minor things
and having to say i'm sorry first

even when my work is copied
so in-my-face-ly
what can i say? what can i do?
i feel so much lke slapping the person
or say, "give the credits to me"

that's just fair, isn't it?

but life doesn't work things out for me like this all the time
at times i feel as though i cannot afford to make a single mistake
for every mistake made causes me another consequence
and it's always a huge one

i seriously don't get life
and i never will
it's really awful to knw your arm is still hurting at this moment
while things are going on
things at work, things out of work

after ranting, maybe i'll feel better and just move on with life
jo asked me why i feel motivated to come early even after shit happens
and in my heart, my answer was it's because i'm used to it

i forgot the definition of joy
or the meaning of recognition
being creative is one thing
being noticed is another

tomorrow will be good
i know it will

xoxo,
pearl

escapade

2010-11-08T23:26:00.003+08:00

some words are like a slap on the face
shit happens. all the time
one after another, i ask myself, when will all these end

i remember her prayers for me
for me to have a good sleep
but i reckon
tonight's gonna be a long night

i forgot when did it began
that whenever there's a conflict
no matter between who, no matter regardless what
i swallow it in and just take things as it is
it's always me. about me. bad me. me change. change me.

i hate to fight back
i hate to reason out
and that's why slowly, i hate to say my inner most feelings

for awhile i need to escape
for awhile i need some air
the load's too heavy for me to carry on
it slows me down to find me back

i put on a new hat of optimism
tomorrow's a new chapter
let worries be bygones
and tear stained shirts be memories

because i learn to listen
i forgot how to speak

"the sun rays that waketh me from thy sleep shall marketh the commencement of moving forth"

goodnight cyber world
u hear me well

xoxo,
yours truly

fracture

2010-10-10T20:54:00.004+08:00

They say there is a season for everything
I think there is a season for break ups
for I feel it's here.

within 2 weeks, i saw 3 couples broke up

that's just sad

it's true we don't have to 'reserve' that special place for the guy we fancy
for love doesn't come knocking on your door like a gentleman
it intrudes unknowingly

many times we hold special desires in our hearts
hoping the guy we like to just like us back

instead of loving someone 100%
i rather find someone who loves me 100%
and i 99%
it's selfish i know
but being a lady, there are much more to lose than the man

recently, i fractured my arm
i don't know if it's bad
but the doc says it's a rare fracture

my arm seemed more painful these days
but i know it will get better
within a short 4 day getaway to redang,
i feel that my life restarted back to 4 months ago

i changed a job,
i have lots of free time now
i realise stuff in regards to love
i am determined to change my lifestyle
i lost and is slowly regaining confidence

at that very point when i needed someone and no one was around,i understood fear and loneliness
it's no joke getting injured in malaysia with people whom you know but... not totally that close to
the realisation of the fracture was also shocking
and the inconvenience thereafter... i totally don't know how to explain

i am a 'fast-fast' person. i hate inconvenience, i hate to be slow
this fracture ain't helping at all.
and i know i can't rely on people to help me do things
like buckling my jeans and bra, i just have to bear with the pain and find a way to do it.

just a note to myself: IF my other half were to experience a fracture or dislocation. i will definitely show LOTS of care even through my busy schedule. for nothing beats the well-being of my other half.
for i understand what it's like to be 'forsaken' and i know it will hurt my other half deeply for a long time if i just carried on with my never-ending work. there will be a sense of rejection (like seriously)

well, my arm is getting better. much better. i will not forget the nasty redang doc who asked for 150RM consultation fees. he didn't even know it was a fracture and forced me to do IMPOSSIBLE stunts, claiming my threshold for pain is just low. you be glad i didn't slap the a&e records into your face.

oh well, tomorrow is another beautiful Monday.
I do hope this week gets better and I wanna forget nasty memories and restart my life 4 months back again.

xoxo,
pearl

black n white

2010-09-05T22:42:00.002+08:00

at times the night seem too silent and cold for my liking
the streets too bare
the moon light too bright in the night sky
and the sound of unending thoughts whizzing in my head too loud

too much left unsaid
i prefer to be nonchalent and delusional

i like to live in my strawberry world
i hate reality
for it's like a needle
that bursts the bubble i confine myself to

i recently developed liking towards black and white.
just black and white
and grey is a colour i learn to detest
for it always an area that is hard to define

i wish i am like summer breeze. i am loved for a moment and i stay for that moment.

xoxo,
pearl

understatement

2010-08-29T01:11:00.003+08:00

they say "don't judge a book by its cover"
indeed
OH MY BRAINS!!
nerd was an understatement. but still, bad impression. uh-uh. no room for negotiation.

neeways, i am dreaming of linguine with lots of garlic, fat slab of salmon belly and bruschetta.
if u ask me what makes the world go round?
i say, food. it makes one round.

food has a thing with me. especially rich flavours of meat, whole grain bread, cheese and desserts.

tomorrow's little reannie's bday celebration. heading down with dude and the art teachers. i quite like the thought of working at the same area with dude n sy. it's exhilarating

ogay, ogay. i need to sleep.
my tummy rumbles for pasta. i shall satisfy that craving soon.
i'm in love with my hair today.
it's AWESOME.

xoxo
pearl

overdue

2010-08-20T11:48:00.002+08:00

i am still at home, stuck to my chair
i dun wish to leave, change and get going
but i know i have to
soon
like real soon

emotions like roller coaster,
adversely affected from the wild thoughts and my creative juices
can't help but think of my job

questions fill my head
i wonder how long would i really stay here
it's not that i am unhappy
it's just a feeling of... swimming in a direction you don't know is right

it's like living a life as though you are walking on broken glass
you don't know which piece is gonna cut you real hard
the small pieces that you fail to notice
or the big ones that you had preamp against and yet somehow it cuts you

pain is a real thing
it isn't just an intangible thing your eye can't see
it's a tangible feeling that cause much distraught, emotional turbulence and mental fatigue.

---

snow's now bigger and taller
stronger and barks louder
he understands 'sit' 'jump' and yet to learn 'shake hands' and 'roll over'
he howls at the sound of music, and his fave genre - pop instrumental
he sure knows music uh.
and and and, he loves to play snatch
(it is the failed version of catch)
imagine throwing the ball and he runs back to you. and you have to try to pull the thing outta his mouth.
if you suceed, you win
if you don't, happy snow goes off with his new found toy

lol

ok, time for me to REALLY go off

xoxo,
pearl

random

2010-07-14T01:00:00.002+08:00

can't think of a good title for this post

recently, i had been busier than usual.
i like being busy
but i don't like being tooo busy

i realise, if i were to have a bf/ hubby that is constantly very free, i will feel uneasy.
haha.

alright. feeling a little tired now. coffee apparently works differently for me. i have it before my sleep and it makes me feel tired and strengthens my desire for rest. weirdly enough, it is my "comfort food" before bed time.

today's a strange day. it felt short but long. anyway, i'm gaga over the happy meal toys at Mac. I've got half the collection and i am pretty satisfied with having 3. hee.
i can't wait for next month to come. i can't wait to have a day or 2 off.

i'm tired.my mind is filled with new layouts and floor plans.
gonna rest.
night.

xoxo,
pearl.

drama of mind

2010-06-22T00:55:00.002+08:00

i feel placed in a time, in a place whereby i need much strength
i never like to verbalise my emotions
say out what i m gg through

it's not easy being the good kid
trying to be understanding, trying to be patient

it's not easy to remain calm
when things are turned nasty against you

my faults have found me no good
i feel instigated by people whom i trust but probably not vice versa
the desire in me adds burden to my shoulders
slowly, i feel a little heavy on the inside

i think the feeling is stress with helpless depression

i know i will get over it
i just need to swallow and move on

i get jealous that snow can wake up each morning, not worrying about anythg. it's such a surreal feeling for me to have that thought.

i know tmr i will wake up with a smile and praise on my lips.

xoxo,
pearl

sunday ain't fun-day

2010-06-21T00:39:00.004+08:00

today's just NOT my day

morning started with drama from my parents
i slept my afternn away instead of going out (there goes my weekend)
i was instigated JUST now

):

i thought past isn't the focus. the present, the future is.
at times, towards certain issues, i sealed my lips. i try not to get angry. but it seems like when things that are hidden in the past are revealed, the feeling is just nasty.

ps/ what is it like to be friends with someone who once had liking for u and still remain v close.

xoxo
pearl

charcoal

2010-06-20T13:55:00.003+08:00

interior designing is actually fun but tiring

there are constantly new things to learn, new skills to acquire, new ideas to pick up from, new restrictions to follow, new people to meet up....

well, i enjoy what i'm doing at least. and i do hope i can enjoy my work even more.

tmr i shall meet the girls for movie.
have not been watching movies lately, except for the last song. by miley. it was okay. not a great plot but i like the setting and having an ordinary light hearted movie once in awhile feels great.

i've got a new pup husky. it was formerly called snow, i changed his name to charcoal.
but, i'm still thinking of a name tt best suits him.
he's a little baby. just 1 month plus. whines like a baby and he still drinks milk.

i am thinking of getting a bb.
:D
ok. gadgets aside.

feeling moody today.
it's a mouldy day.
cause it turned bad.

xoxo
pearl

new job

2010-05-28T01:23:00.002+08:00

the new phase of my life is just busy

busy busy busy

being an interior designer is no easy feat.
i realise i need skills and knowledge of almost every aspect. it's more than just a good design, more than just creativity.
it includes knowledge of the latest materials, lighting knowledge, knowledge on how ceiling works, rules and regulations of condos or HDB, safety issues, etc etc etc.

i still have alot to learn
even if it's 1 year into this line, you can still be a greenhorn

tmr is 1 day tour and chomp chomp
:D

xoxo,
pearl

great 2nd hand car deal

2010-05-20T22:23:00.002+08:00

i am currently obsessed about the thought of having my own car
have been having thoughts of getting a good 2nd hand car after i realise depreciation of cars are about 7.5 to 8k per year. ($7500-$8000)

i found a GREAT lobang. shall save for one!
heh

if anyone wanna buy a 2nd hand car, i can let u know who the sales person is. they also take in used cars to sell too. (so if u wanna sell u can also contact the sales person)

should be quite a good price.

anyway, life has not been as still as a sign in the past week.
first, i got a job as an interior designer, next, my lifestyle now includes _ and thirdly i had a big quarrel with my mum.

pissed off with her.
shan't go into details

sometimes i wish i can just live in my room
and ignore the constant boundaries my mum draws

i am an adult
not a kid with "wings"

xoxo,
pearl

phases

2010-05-13T03:42:00.002+08:00

like it or not, i am gonna step into a new phase of life

working and making financial planning,
plans to further my studies, plans to save up for future use
:(

i don't know what the future holds for me
i don't know what the working world is really like
a weird, odd and excited feeling overwhelms me

i miss frolicking in the sand and sea and watch the sun set
i miss the times i sat down for lunch for hours and take long bus rides home

growing up is part of my life
soon, growing old would be too

these days i have been daydreaming
dreaming of fairy tales that exist in idol dramas
and tales that i make up inside my little strawberry world

my world is full of colours, no kids, lots of ice cream and no calories
:D

dawn is nearing
time to sleep
i pray that there won't be bees or creepy ants that would crawl into my room

tmr is a brand new day
the taste of Korean food lingers on my lips
i am starting to fall deeply and madly in love with Japanese and Korean cuisine

my new rave, Jung Yong Hwa.
-squeals-

this heart throb stole my breath away for 2 reasons, his jaw line and his smile.
BUT most of all, he pulled off the dapper look SO well in 'you're beautiful' that it made me notice him.
ah. melts.

xoxo,
pearl the fan girl

another other day

2010-05-04T01:51:00.003+08:00

it's almost 2 and i am suppose to wake up bright and early tmr
boy
today is sucha mundane day

woke up at 1
ate
tv
fb
eat
tv
bathe
sleep

dinner at coriander cafe at thomson plaza was quite not bad.
3/5

xoxo,
pearl

labour day

2010-05-02T16:33:00.002+08:00

labour day

so for labour day, best friend and I went for brunch
really late brunch
so late, it's dinner.

LOL

wild honey was packed
and hence, we went for KPO

i had a steak sandwich
and it came with chips which were okay

i love my saturdays laidback and relaxing
and that was like the best way to spend it
at a nice, quaint cafe having late meals (because you slept in)
do some shopping and talk the evening away

sounds awesome, ya?

as much as i wish this could be a weekly affair
sometimes we could only wish
i do hope it will be though....

xoxo,
pearl

farm mart

2010-05-01T13:57:00.008+08:00

yesterday's friday.
today's labour day.

so, on thursday, after meeting Praew at Orchard Hotel, SQ and I decided to try Hard Rock Cafe. The food was rather awful.
We had SOB burg, wings and cecil tea.
The burg was rather alright. the beef was juicy but the pepper sauce can be better. the wings were horrible. too much tabasco. i felt like i was having sour wings rather than spicy wings. the drink was weird and i shan't describe it any further.

yesterday dap and i visited farm mart.
took a shutter bus from cck.
farm mart was really quiet and really boring. i only liked feeding the goats and rabbits. the rest of it was so boring.
you can get to feed the turtles/ terrapin, fishes as well as the bull frogs.
the fishes are really aggressive and they make huge splashes when u feed them.
would not go again.

after that we went to alicia's place.
i think we should go to someone's house to bum more often. <3 her place cause she has a huge tv in her room and talking to her was great.
anyw, it's so fun to just sit around and just watch tv or surf the net and talk
bought egg tarts and some chips up to her place and we bummed the afternoon away.

had dinner with jon and kenneth at subway
after dinner, we went youth serv
(which ken didn't go)

we catched a midnight movie too.
my eyes totally swelled up from the tearing
cause we sat at the 2nd row from the front and the flashing lights from the screen were too much for my eyes to take
we watched iron man 2 and well, i will give it 3 popcorns. not advisable to watch but i liked the effects from all those high technological equipments and robot suits. it was cool.

gonna go dress up now
meeting dap at 3 for brunch at wild honey.
maybe it's called tea instead of brunch. lol.

xoxo,
pearl

photos!

2010-04-29T14:48:00.008+08:00

alrights. some really overdued photos as well as updates on what i have been doing.
i am a full time bummer just for now
JUST for now
went cycling last week with dap and had mini mini picnic together with JJ
went cycling recently at ubin
gonna meet dapper women marketing manager today
kinda excited and nervous
:D

at timbre with the girls before taiwan trip

at salvation army after taiwan trip

la mian xiao long bao buffet at crystal jade
went with alicia, stella and dap
holland village
ps: i won't want another buffet. i think my stomach wall was stretched to its maximum that day :/

pasta cafe
dessert! <3

(it's green tea tiramisu if i didn't rmb wrongly. not bad but the cream is quite jelat)

pulau ubin
went for a cycling trip
checked out chek jawa and visited jack the famous boar owned by this old man
my souvenir from pulau ubin was mozzie bites (at least 20?)

vandalism being corrected?

can u spot a hermit crab?? there's suppose to be hermit crabS

i am going to either timbre@boat quay, kpo@killiney road(town) or tcc@shaw house(town) today.

u can find me if you want! :D

xoxo,
pearl

GAY

2010-04-26T00:21:00.002+08:00

talk about metrosexual guys :/
i think this is just gay
certain dressing/ lifestyle habits/ hobbies that are for women ARE FOR WOMEN

THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!

xoxo,
pearl

normal saturday

2010-04-25T02:11:00.002+08:00

went to work
screamed at kids
constantly confiscate things
teach teach teach
go home

and "couch potato-ed"

was supposed to go aunt lucy's place
just had operation
but she was too tired after her medication
so we didn't go in the end

ended up having dinner with folks at tpy

came home
and "couch-potatoed"

the smell of yogurt and kiwi still lingers on my nose
my thoughts unfolded like a book today
i thought about what i wanted in life, what i planned in life, etc

it got me down to setting goals, plans and having this vision for my future
i thought about lifestyle, exercise and healthy diets
i thought about having my own car, a kinetic cycling machine, buying a new apartment
i planned to go on another holiday, going for regular facials, getting my driving license and finding a job

i thought of a lot
made new resolutions
and am gonna order a cake for mothers' day real soon

next week's busy
gonna go cycling at pulau ubin
1 day tour around singapore to get organic food
meet up with dapper

oh and labour day on sat
contemplating on gg for that iron man movie premier party
i don't feel like dressing up

i'm so glad u're fine.
just be fine.

! W!55 n

(decode with a mirror)

xoxo,
pearl

LOVE Taiwan

2010-04-20T01:18:00.009+08:00

(before taiwan trip i looked like this)

(during taiwan trip, i looked like this)

I am rather lazy to add comments.
Well, 7 days in Taiwan was great. felt really lazy to upload all the pictures. haha. i felt this connection with TW. it's as though the country is v comfortable, v S'pore-ish.
there are differences of course, but, on the whole, Taipei felt like home. really. and that feeling was odd.

i kinda miss TW. the street snacks (only some), the shopping, the weather (then it was 14 deg at night!), the fact i can wear what i like and not get stared, the orderliness of the MRT and the little quaint room i resided in.

i think i wanna go there again. but the next trip is to HK.

bought alot on this trip. wonder if i will drag home 2 luggage if i go HK.

i love the feeling of a holiday. i like the sound of it, the thought of it and maybe even the smell of it. heh. but for now, i have to get back to reality.

time to learn driving, find a job, prepare to meet up with Dapper people, plan what i wanna expect of myself for the future....
and planning for the future means understanding what i want.

i hope my new phase of life is balanced. with healthy exercises, diets, spending time with friends, family, setting time for church and of course personal relaxation time.

peace out.

xoxo,
pearl

april fool , GOOD FRIDAY

2010-04-02T00:15:00.004+08:00

HELLO!
April Fool's day ended approximately 15 minutes ago
and now, it's Good Friday
:)

I have gotta make myself a pact
that from today on, i will _ _ _

Later on tonight, it will be timbre with the girls
Butter on Wed was cancelled
and my dear MQ is really in love with ZYT

I told her about ZYT plastered over J8
and to add, he's ALSO coming to J8 soon
she either came to J8 today or she's gonna come

WOW

I can never imagine myself loving someone this madly
I doubt I can

1 day to TAIWAN!
anyway doodes, I have got complimentary easy card (ezlink card)!
cause' D and I made our way to the Taiwan Visitors Association to get them.
wheets

alright. I'll try to get everyone something from TW. but I can't promise. cause' this trip is a I, ME, MYSELF trip. all the shopping for myself. heh.
till then, BYEE!

xoxo,
pearl

hi Russell

2010-03-31T17:08:00.002+08:00

i saw this picture on my friend's fb.
have a good laugh. HAHAHAHA
and say hi to Russell!

p/s 3 days to TW ;)

xoxo,
pearl

delicious

2010-03-30T23:02:00.003+08:00

i love food, i love cupcakes, especially pretty cupcakes, minus the calories

---

alright. so today's photoshoot day. 3oth apr is also daphne's dad's birthday and also the day my library book is due.

i have yet to return it
gotta renew it to avoid being charged.

ah.
how i hate fines.

today was interesting. i met a dog called muffin and an adorably small chihuahua which i don't know what is it called.

:D

tmr butter, friday timbre and sat TAIWAN!
i am SO excited. I feel like squealing at the thought of TAIWAN TRIP!!!

i saw something and it made me wonder
maybe i should learn to shut my gap
and not be so me all the time
bottle some things up cause i don't want to be an insolent creature with a big gap and an annoying character

xoxo,
pearl.

:/

2010-03-01T21:36:00.002+08:00

i wonder
before fyp ends, before dip show ends, before graduation show ends....
should i confess?.....
:/

xoxo,
pearl

the taste of freedom is sweet

2010-03-01T21:21:00.002+08:00

monday, 1st march, super sunny but super awesome

today will be an unforgettable day
it's a day of freedom, a day of relaxation, a day of knowing, alas, burdens are rolling away.

"the taste of freedom is sweet"

whatsoever the result are,
whatsoever the examiner feels about my work or me,
i am just glad even if full stop ain't drawn yet,
at least a good ol' comma is in the way

i'm feeling much better from 1 week, or maybe 2 weeks ago.

that few weeks was living perdition.
awful awful feeling

i've got a couple of photos to upload
but hadn't had time
cny was lke busy busy and well, this entire time was just busy

cycling yesterday with the girls and guy was great.
the jump shots were like the high point
and i kinda enjoy carls jr for supper
:p

can't wait for the rest of the peeps to end their presentation
and we shall go for timbre (ooh, roast duck pizza!)
or (maybe, but i hope not) clubbing

after this shall be fashion show and then TW trip
WHEEEEEE

i actually SO can't wait to go thailand in June.

have been thinking of working overseas for a year.
then study
and later work again

i've been having plans of just being elsewhere on the globe, doing and understanding life beyond my comfort zone

well, i don't know about this actually

i feel i still do need someone by my side at times
oh well, let things just go naturally

ok, photos the next time

xoxo,
pearl

CNY dinner

2010-02-03T02:00:00.003+08:00

hello major project
i'm gonna conquer you

oh yes i will i will.

tickets to taiwan and to bkk are all booked.
accomodation in the process of booking.
have found a couple of fantastic deals.
all my lobangs are my secrets. will reveal if i am pleased with my stay. lol

alrights.

had company dinner on sunday at kbox (cineleisure)
monday, my awesome dad drove me to take photos of the photoshoot site.
well, my efforts were wasted cause in the end the shoot was done at punggol but not the area i suggested.
felt that i wasted time. but it's ok. at least i got to spend time with daddy, talking about his old days at punggol and the jetty he used to swim in.

my dad is AWESOME
:D

Had ajisen last friday with bestie before going for youth.

Clar Clar is BACK!!! but only for 1 month.
I wonder how long he's gonna be gone again.

I used to tell myself I think I love the sea ALOT
I like the feeling of standing at the shore and just peering over the horizons.
I love the feeling of being on a small canoe, kayak or boat and peddling slowly across.
I love huge cruise and liners and speedboats too

but I can't imagine being away for months on a huge ship
where everyday I am surrounded with water. It'ld be great if my close friends and family are with me. If not, I would feel alone in a big ocean.
I will feel that I am visiting thousands of sea creatures home each day
but my home, is far far away
and my song will be "Sail me home"

Kbox and Kbuffet with G.A
CNY celebration 2010
First try at karaoke and first time having super sweet yu sheng

---

period of agony

2010-02-01T01:29:00.002+08:00

i am not one who expresses my thoughts out front
to people i feel no connection with

just came back from company dinner
at cineleisure kbox
its my virgin attempt to karaoke

its not really my thing i have to say
thou i sang quite alot

my tummy hurts now
can't believe this morning i was rolling in bed in pain
ouch much
thank God i got better before going church

i'm breathless
i'm tired
i'm worried sick
i'm stressed

i wonder why at such a time my heart is also wrenching, my finances dipping

all will be fine
i know it will be

for now, i'll keep my feelings to myself
if u're my soulmate, u'll feel how i feel now or understand how i am now

i;ll stop here.
good night.

xoxo,
pearl

wednesday

2010-01-28T00:25:00.002+08:00

Chocolates are love
i have to have one like everyday

anyway, my mum got 2 boxes of chocolates from chocolate lab at Wheelock

honestly, its not worth it
they have unique chocolates and all but the quality of the chocolate...
i surely can't say its good

it doesn't melt in my mouth the way i thought it would
i thought it would be very smooth, full of flavour, rich, a sinful yet satisfying gastronomical experience
nvm about that

today, bestie and I went to get some materials for our store model
and after that, we stopped for Macs
our mid-afternoon tea ended up pretty filling

i have changed the layout of my room to fit what i am currently building in my room

i kinda shifted the bed to the side of my room, freeing up space for work
saying about my room, i think my room is like in a colour scheme of strawberry chocolate, a theme of sweet hotel escapade
its not really me actually

i shall do something about my little nest some day.

btw, i chanced upon this blog which i MUST share
valeriesoh.blogspot.com

the blogger is trying to be another rumi from fashiontoast.com.
but, she did it so badly
she just gotta blame if on her not so perfect figure and bad fashion sense

shall go sleeo

xoxo,
pearl

tired

2010-01-27T01:36:00.003+08:00

feeling really tired

haven't really slept well
:(

i was thinking to myself about how amazing it is to meet back some people you thought disappeared or will never reappear again in your life.

the feeling is surreal, awesome, indescribably nice

anyw, today i went back to school after days of slogging at home. i finally came up with collaterals i am more pleased with.
-pats my shoulder-

and aft looking at them i can't help but exclaim "i went a big round, trying to explore different designs but in the end, i chose my very first idea.
:/

how i wish i had all the time in the world to make stuffed chicken, baked macaroni and crumble pie.
currently in love with this program called sugar rush.

it's totally love

u see, i am more of a sweet than savoury person
ok, i wanna go sleeeep
shan't upload photos today

xoxo,
pearl

my photos refuse to be uploaded

2010-01-21T21:33:00.002+08:00

sign.

i think i am having like mild depression
seriously

i can just tear when little things go wrong
like chilli spilled or potatoes turning bad

i don't know if i'm stressed or not
cause i don't really feel much pressure
but somehow i feel so breathless about everything happening around me

trying to be a better sunday school teacher
trying to be a better art teacher
trying to be a better student by coming on time
trying to be a more understanding person and daughter

i am trying so hard
but i am slowly feeling breathless

too many changes and with workload and commitments

-

this is the 2nd time i've encouraged someone who liked me to win someone else's heart
it's a feeling, maybe you might never experience
the feeling is odd
especially this time round
i wonder why i did not get angry when i realise you cheated my feelings
i wonder what made me so forgiving

xoxo,
pearl

oh wells

2010-01-20T12:34:00.005+08:00

hello people!
monday was great.
not so great actually. cause it started out with bestie at my place and we both were seriously restless.

so we perk ourselves up by going out to eat.
ate at amk hub

I don't like the idea of tempura ice cream a.k.a fried ice cream. it's really very weird if u think about your pastry frying tgt with the other poultry stuff like fried fish and fries, etc.
isn't the thought so unappetising?

tuesday which was yest was presentation day.
i seriously dragged my body to school.
and bestie and i cabbed to school tgt. guess what? cab fare was just 9.40!
BREAK RECORD!!!

and bestie was like squealing away, break record break record!!
lol
that's cause the new KPE flyover opened.
and it opened on Mon.
LOL.

damn funny.

MENSA!

I realise for 3 years i have never taken a photo of me at mensa.
so hence, before I grad, i took a photo of me at mensa!
:D

yest i was really bored.
didn't felt like doing work big time.
and i kept watching TV and snacking as per usual.

anyw, my room is seriously untidy.
untideeeeey!!!!!!

and that's me with an ice cream!

anyw yest i forgot all about jfat. i ps-ed him unintentionally
and i feel v bad
but nvm, its over

alrights.
today is model making day and 3Ds Max day and finalising my marketing collaterals day
my collaterals are giving me major headache
i want it to be in red and white
but seems like red and white is just not the colour for it

how how how?
:/

i wanna finish my stuff fast.
meeting fixture contractor tomorrow and maybe the building contractor too.
sign

me no likey likey stress.

anyway i really hate it when people get credit for what they DON'T deserve
eg.1 ripping designs/ using old designs
eg.2 asking professionals to complete their 3D drawings

as much as i am washing my hands off such things,
i do pray that conviction would come
whatever it is, i shall just commit to the Lord
you see, justice don't prevail on earth
but it does in Heaven

so shrug it off guys

oh wells.
period

anyw, G and he E stopped contacting me
its kinda weird
and D (not bestie) too.
it is as though my life is as still as a sign

maybe some day i'll find someone who can fit into this picture,
maybe i won't find that someone

whatsoever, i beckon, life still rocks as long as I do what I deem pleased with

can't wait for TW trip and graduation!!
gonna take up baking classes, cooking classes, kickboxing and get back to kayaking!
wanna try dancing like how i used to back in those days too!
oooh.
exciting!

xoxo,
pearl

ah gua

2010-01-16T23:40:00.002+08:00

remember the hoo-ha about molestation at siloso's beach party 09?
it's the 'lady' in pink bikini

apparently shim looks really like a trans
(note: shim not she)

ah gua
bak gua

anyway, i am SO excited about going TW with girlfriends!
but during Mar, sy is having exams so she definitely can't come
but its ok, we got June to go bkk

the thought of it is thrilling
shall go check out airfares now

i just notice something really interesting
my nail polishes are mostly from Faceshop
my toiletries are all from Body shop
and some of my clothes from Topshop

lol
i know that's random
gotta do work now

tata

xoxo,
pearl

grey skies

2010-01-14T00:11:00.005+08:00

today, 14th Jan 2010 marks the day one of my closest friends grandpa passed on

it's really sad
but at the same time, i believe in my heart he has gone to a better place
i pray with all my heart
his last breath called for Jesus

cheer up sy
i will continue to pray for u
and at the same time, know that there are people around u who care, sincerely

i have got some photos to upload.

Met up with GB girls last sat to celebrate a very belated hy's bday
she turned 20!
and i'm like a just-turned 19 kid

at least, on a brighter note, i am a distance from the big 2.

this year, i believe will be a different year.
a year of challenges and changes
i mean, i am gonna grad this year so, definitely, i will be going thru' alot

the thought of graduation, church's new 'rules', major proj, yada yada is quite daunting
i'm at times breathless
at times lost
at times frustrated

i saw a lenovo computer on my female mag
it's a desktop with this mega cool remote control, wireless mouse and keyboard. the screen's like a TV (flat screen of course). waaaaay cool.

today bestie and i had popeyes for dinner. and after that we had a packet of curly fries.
how i just love curly wurly fries.
BUT, somehow curly fries seemed a little too tasty today (or maybe this year)
it's as though they added a tat too much msg or that the salt used is high

popeyes and the really curly wurly fries (it looks like a phone cord, seriously):

(and to my dad peeping at the back, don't peep at my blog, thank you)

ahem.
where was I
my thoughts were interrupted much

before the meet up on saturday, on 7th and 8th Jan, i helped out with TP open house
it's the last open house that i can ever participate in
and licking my free Ben & Jerry's and peering on a bird's eye view the concurrent activities that make open house exciting and lively, i can't help but think of the day i first stepped into TP

the feeling was intimidating. i felt small in a big school.
i felt like a foreigner in a new country, a new kid in the block
in a blink of an eye, i am a graduating student

i have long forgotten the feeling of being tiny, small and new
i felt big in a small school instead
which in the case doesn't really seemed to make sense cause TP is a huge campus

anyway, whatever it is, i can't believe i am gonna graduate

and i can't believe i will have to find a job and further my studies soon after
wow
fun seemed to be out of the picture of job and further studies

anyway, more photos here. many over dued ones.

chocolates from cous who went Europe

the open house stage for the fashion show

the mushroom which I felt looked very very much like a fairy ring which appeared in my school's garden

card by Laura and Nisa (thanks guys!)

(quite over dued) Christmas at Stella's place 2009

(another over dued photo) when bestie and I just had our new hairdos

very long over dued photo.
cupcakes by mel and rach before they went to the states last december as a christmas gift

xoxo,
pearl

last open house at tp

2010-01-07T22:49:00.002+08:00

there's this channel on mioTV called Li, Life Inspired.
it's by sony.

i really love it. it's a good mix of food, exercise (think aerobics, pilates and cardio), travel, fashion, interior, etc.
it's so me.

i always thought i love fashion.
solely fashion.

but as i drift through design and school and art, i realise i am greedy, i love to cook, i love to design spaces, i love fashion, i love events, i love graphic prints, i love travelling, i love adrenaline rush sports, etc etc.

i have been very inspired by food since beginning of last year. i think food decoration, plating is such an art. i think cooking a good dish is science. you mix certain ingredients together, get it done in who-knows-what way and it forms a wonderful palate of taste that is just mind boggling and makes the taster awed by how genius that creation is.

i get blown away by their concoctions.

anyway, today is day 1 of open house.
i always wish i had long skinny pins and beautiful long wavy hair
wish i may, wish i might, wishes, wishes, please come true

anyway, it's the time of the year when my bedroom gets a lil' sprucing up
clean clean clean
pack pack pack
and decors in the way!

this would be my last open house in tp
why do i feel this heaviness
as much as hellos seem awkward
i hate goodbyes even more
but like what i told myself during sec sch graduation
i'll not stop time and wind back
and busk in that memory that once occured cause it will never be the same
but i'll press play and let life roll on
in between time, i'll pull back those characters that played a part
the moments will be reignited, but this time, we'll write a different story

at every moment in my life that i thought i am strong
i realise i am actually not
but keep movin' on

the end of the race is just round the bend
but
that marks the beginning of another.

xoxo,
pearl

hello 2010

2010-01-03T16:45:00.004+08:00

this post is a little late but oh wells, its alright.
today's the first sunday of 2010.
all the kids in sunday school were kinda different in some way.

the 6 year olds have been shifted to the older group on the 4th level and there were new kids in the group.

most of the kids that were new had siblings that were 5 or 6 year old.

anyway, the kids were rather alright today. minus the whiny hannah, mischevious abigail and wailing noah who eventually threw a tantrum.

so 31st dec 09 ended with a blast with girl friends and 2010 started off great. was at siloso's beach partay! it was rather fun and wild but the music after 12 was not my cup of tea. the female DJs were pretty hot but that was about it. i still love the hotel we booked into - hotel re!
kinda small but it exuded this very casual image. and i like it. next year we'll book the rooms at siloso! haha. well, we'll see till my birthday nears.

the wildest thing i did on my birthday would be the snap shot with the group of half naked hunks. OMGOSH, hot!
but i was blushing like mad afterwards.

the night was kinda fun, honestly, esp when stella's friend got drunk, it was DAMN hilarious.

oh oh oh! i received a mega lovely cam for my birthday! i named it sparkle cause i zhng-ed it. i LOVE it. it's SO Barbie

today i gotta rush my work for tmr's presentation. NOT excited about tmr but i shall bring sparkle to school and snap photos with all my lovely darlings.
and i wanna try getting the princess edition films some day for sparkle.

i accidentally went to someone's profile and saw a photo. i kinda had this weird mix of feelings suddenly. i don't know if it's nay or yay. i am not one who initiates the move hence, i shall just wait and see.

xoxo,
PK

cheer up little pearlyn

2009-12-29T11:11:00.003+08:00

christmas and my hols just zoomed by

some food pictures
the above 3 are christmas eve celebration at holiday inn
the last is my breakfast this morning!

everyone ALWAYS ask me to switch off their computer after use

mum, bro and maybe dad. i don't rmb about dad though.

it's so irritating. switch off your OWN computer after use. don't ask innocent, kind hearted pearlyn darling to do it for you.

anyway today i had Macs for breakfast.
it did its part in cheering me up
i gotta go do my work soon. and boy, bestie and me totally feel this sucky feeling. i don't know about how exactly hers feels like but i know how mine feel.

its the kind of feeling that you feel as though your hard work is not rewarded and you gave your best but people still put you down. you look around you and realise some people gave worst work but got better comments.

it's the kind of feeling that makes you go "why like that?", "i gave my best, but none was appreciated"

its a feeling of unfairness that you felt you brought upon yourself, a feeling of not being good enough, a feeling of being shot in the head and no one, NO ONE is willing to say, "let me help you"

this post sounds emo and all.
but i say, after this post let me rejoice
maybe after awhile i will realise stepping stones are never smooth

for now, i receive the fact my birthday is widely hated amongst my peers for no one wishes to do presentations on new years eve

its alright.
i knew it'ld gonna be sucky
but i didn't know it would be this sucky.

if you're my friend,
tell me "everything's gonna be alright"

----

the above was saved as draft this morning.

anyway, it's time to do my work soon.

had dinner at xin wang cafe. my mum once again ordered the gigantic snow ice desert. the food there really sucks. nothing is nice accept for snow ice which is not fantastic, the papaya soup section and the congee section. the drinks i've only tried ying yong before, hence, i can't judge.

the rest of it sucks
gosh

tomorrow's menu includes broccoli soup. its a must.

anyway, what if... just what if i fell in love with someone.
someone that will probably send jaws dropping
cause it's so so so unexpected

just what if alright.

this is a major period of my life so i won't allow myself to fall in love

umm... i feel all funny inside

gotta go do work now

xoxo,
pearlyn

not appreciated

2009-12-21T17:16:00.002+08:00

What is the point of claiming "i miss you" when at times words seem void
words seem void when actions fail to back them up
actions speak louder than words
and this, i can't agree any lesser.

is it not an irony when someone says "i miss you, really"
but continues "but i don't want to see you"?

i do not wish to be a fool
or treated as one
some intellectuals can be the fools at love

i do not wish to be a fool at love

i've said what i need to say, do what needs to be done
i don't feel appreciated so hence, i'll just move on, knowing at least i've done my part in bidding a good farewell
as for the rest of your story, may I not be a character in it

not appreciated once, might not be appreciated the second time.

anyway, bestie and I like the song from Goldheart ad.
and i found many others who like it just as much as i do.

happy tuesday

2009-12-16T01:09:00.007+08:00

[My new crave and below my very first christmas gift

i am gonna do my work now
i mean soon
i mean later
maybe tmr since it's the night

procrastination is uh-uh (shakes finger)

i must be disciplined.

anyway, i have been receiving comments that i am very fair/ white.
sign
it's a bad sign
i wanna be 2 hues tanner

i don't want to be fair
it's so easy to be mistaken as pale

anyway, i feel like going for something soon
it's a tratment.
special treatment *winks*

today i went shopping
and bought a pair of Levi's and a dress from New Look
NL is huge
but the stuff ain't very impressive

saw some accessories that are nice though
contemplating on getting a pouch for cammie, an umbrella and this shiny necklace

cammie's my new LZ 10 camera

love it to the mantle!

i am thinking of zhng-ing this little darling of mine
but in another style
this time round, it'ld be in the theme of urban sophistication
LOL

anyway, i've been having a thought on my mind recently
i'm pretty touched/ moved by someone's sincerity
and i'm feeling quite uncertain

but this thought is pretty irksome

shan't dwell on it
it cause my goosebumps to rise

i love bread
i don't know how to express my love for bread
bread is like a staple to me
i cannot live without it
it gives me the much needed energy
it is so plain yet so awesome, soft on the inside, and hard on the outside
it withstands heat over 100 degrees
and it comes in all sorts, shapes, flavours, textures and even colours
it totally brightens up my day
from a far distance, the smell of it makes me smile
and the thought of it makes me crave for it
bread oh bread,
the love of my life

so, will u be my bread?

goodnight!

week 1, monday

2009-12-15T00:48:00.003+08:00

so yes,
this is christmas holiday week 1

YIPPY

well, it's not a total holiday cause' we've got work to do and after holidays we've got ppt presentation.
it's one of the worst hol in my 3 years in TP but let me just take it that all endings are either drastic, dramatic or extra ordinarily memorable in a certain other way.

secondary school had much dreaded Os
primary school had much hated PSLE
JC had much torturous As

so yes, poly's the same too
fyp ain't the most fun subject but well, on a brighter note, i learnt ALOT

i can't wait to graduate and go on graduation trip
but after that, i'll start worrying about furthering my studies and finding a job.
i got much plans in mind
but, oh well, i'll let God decide my future

anyway, i've got many photos to upload
shall upload it the next time...

went to ECP with bestie today
skate and cycle for a few hours
and i fell while skating
the fall was pretty bad
think my butt didn't help to cushion the impact so i went into a state of daze
and now, i'm having aftermath effects of pain in da ass and headache which now subsided

31st dec is my birthday
and it's also the time of the year people wanna party and countdown
but honestly, i'm not into such events
honestly honestly, i don't feel like going to the beach party on second thoughts :/

i mean, i've got presentation in the morning/ afternoon that day
and i want just something that is fun and casual and not excessive
i might just end up scooping ice cream from a tub infront of the TV
and spend the entire night watching random shows

i'll see how...
decent birthday celebration is much desired
goodnight

life after interim 1

2009-12-07T23:53:00.004+08:00

I'm too lazy to type
anyway, those are pictures of my thailand trip

it was good. i mean, boy, i never lived in a service apartment with private pool whereby the pool is at your balcony.
went there mainly to visit the company i collaborate with.
had a rather serious meeting with them in their meeting room

anyway, food there is cheap and good
and i kinda miss that pizza too

today was interim 1.
i'm so tired
i love presentations
they so rock. rock big time

anyway, my mum just gave me another present.
i think this is my christmas present. my handphone is my birthday present.
it's a sembonia wallet. quite shock about her choice. but it's from my mum so i'll treasure it.
it's quite sweet actually. although... um... nvm. purple and has a metal butterfly with a few diamontes encrusted.

tomorrow my whole family will be leaving home at 7am. they will be back on friday
so home alone for me.

this means, buying my meals, boiling water, washing clothes, watering the flowers, etc etc.

i loathe the state of my room now
extremely untidy
but i can't be bothered now
really very tired

ok, i wanna rest now
bye people

my school, the fridge

2009-11-19T10:33:00.002+08:00

i am in school
in a frigging human fridge
typing away
and staring at a lifeless electronic screen
with little flickering lights and buzzing sounds
that human call the computer

the human fridge
is places in my school
where they blast the aircon real high
and make us get in and out of it through matric cards
and whenever the door closes,
it bangs real hard

it would be great if..
i've got a hot cuppa in one hand
and probably a chicken stew in the other

i can't believe i woke up frigging early to enter torture zone on my own accord
i can't believe i didn't read my email

sigh

i am doing and gonna do finish my work

my back kinda ache
and my head was very pain yest

fyp doesn't seem to rock
but i love it cause i know after this phase,
i'll be freeeeeee
for just a few months and i gotta work and all

alright.
back to work

i feel odd about something
but oh wells
shan't dwell on it.

ok, i will really start doing my work now.
(:

new air

2009-11-17T20:11:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow, alas, no lessons, no classes.

Alright.
I'll spend tomorrow wisely

anyway, i'm feeling REALLY full right now
like seriously, i feel overfed

on top of my chicken rice was like a fish all to myself, a bowl of soup and a plate of vegetables.

it's really very filling.
i mean, 1 packet of chicken rice is enough to fill me
3 additional sides are just too much for me to handle

my phone is creepy
it keeps lighting up as though there's an incoming msg/ call but there isn't
and it lights up on its own

i REALLY didn't touch it

I shall go do some work now

i keep thinking about what my mum told me over the dinner table
it's not bothering me
but it's been on my mind

i ever wonder
if i'll find someone i love
someone i really really love

i am having a jetsetting year end

flying off on the 25th to 28th
and on the 3rd week of Dec

i'll be alone from 8th Dec till the end of that week
cause everyone will be off the shores of SG

my calender is filled with reminders, to-dos, IMPORTANT!, birthdays and special dates

i love the air of christmas
i love to know this year is drawing to a close
i love to know that this christmas would be so fantastic

this christmas, i'll probably try making truffles and christmas pudding

not sure yet
have been wanting to make truffles for a pretty long time
i thought about the flavours already

bye world!

sunday again

2009-11-15T22:28:00.002+08:00

sunday.
cooling as can be.

i really love how the weather condition is right now
it's a little damp but well, really cooling and not chilly

i had a nice chicken chop topped off with barbeque sauce and onions accompanied with cheesy pasta salad and cooked broccolis and carrots for dinner.
how yummy.

i'm in totally no mood for work. i really feel like taking a good night's rest or just laze on the couch watching the telly or maybe take a stroll somewhere quiet.

i don't know.

i just feel like doing something else than work
it's a really bad thought i must not entertain
:/

tomorrow's a new block
which means new timetable
which also means additional lesson

events

oh boy

how i hate the ring of it
it spells tiredness and additional work
on the contrary, stress brings drive which might help motivate in my fyp

it's shiqi's birthday today
wanted to wish her at like 11.59. haha. instead of being the first to wish why not just be the last?

the onion smell is still lingering in my mouth ://///

mum's not back from her dinner yet
and dad was SUPER hilarious just now
he walked out with a bolster in his hand
and his hair out-of-the-bed
it was as though he sleep walked

why do i miss the taste of nachos with cheese so much?
anyway i'm gonna get my hair cut soon
let me give you a snippet

what do you think?
:D
yay or nay?

back to reality
back to work.
bye!

memories

2009-11-15T03:19:00.003+08:00

I was reading my older entries
and i realised

i broke up with D for approx 1 and a half years.

i realised we quarelled 70% of the time
but i realised i really felt very pampered too
at the same time, i was dependent
and fatter
and abit prettier (i feel)
was on bad terms with ______
and wrote alot more of my true feelings

this blog has been here for 5 years.
lots of stories to be read
but i'll keep them private

ok, i'll REALLY sleep now
bye bye

night's cry/ morning's whimper

2009-11-15T02:46:00.003+08:00

i felt so dumb today

i forgot that 28th Nov is the competition
and i'm the emcee

i felt as thought i bombed things out
i felt stupid
i felt like crap
nothing could be done
the tickets booked
flight confirmed

aweful

sigh

si-eh pek-chek

hurdles in life seem to come through and through each day
i tell myself,
there's a reason why hurdles are there
i tell myself,
don't even stop to sigh or to even think about it

just keep going
and going
and going

this is a new skin
it's minimalist
:D

i suddenly thought of my lame joke on friday
"guys are like meat, they spoil over time"

lol

night!

hello sunday

2009-11-08T18:47:00.002+08:00

today is sunday
today is great
now i gotta go have my dinner.

went to zouk's flea market today
and it was okay

bought a dress
and i think it's NOT flattering after trying it.

i feel like getting jeans from zara and CK
and i saw a seriously HOT pait of pants from zara.

sometimes, its good to just keep comments to yourself.

ok.
that's all
bye world

fyp

2009-11-05T14:33:00.002+08:00

At some point in my life, i no longer show honest and truthful side of me.
i lie my way through by pretending to be this somebody that probably is just half of what i used to be.

i wear a mask, a mask that shows how strong i am, how cold i am, how unwavered i am.

but within there is little shrills of cries, whimpers and sounds of fear.

it's been a long time since i felt stressed and wanna break down.
at times, its not about the stress from external sources but from yourself.

i felt, so many times this week the inability to hear my own voice,
to feel my hunger pangs,
to know when nature is signalling for me to rest

i am tired. but no sleep or rest can recover it. but only when i know the burden is lifted, i can soar once again like how i used to, on wings of freedom.

when i was 5years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life.when i went to school, they asked me what i wanted to be when i grew up. i wrote down "happy". they told me i didn't understand the assignment and i told them they didn't understand life.

a pact sealed
a promise made

but it's hard to find beauty in negative spaces.

the Lord is good.
i know it for i tasted it.
let the next week be good
at least set out a race that i can pace steadily, not too harsh please.
let me have ample rest in between
and short breaks for food

flying off soon
anyone needs anything from thailand?
fly there for serious business, so don't envy me.
for if given a choice, i don't really wanna fly over. moolah yo.

ok, bye world

don't wanna do work!

2009-10-22T00:23:00.014+08:00

this is what i see when i peer out of my office window. i don't know if i miss this view. but i certainly am glad internship is over.

this is last week's photos.

sunday

kids at sunday school

my brunch at coffeebean. (i ate half of bestie's cake. she is pro at wasting food mann)

kiwi and lychee flavoured Lays from China.
one word - exotic
honestly, not v nice. :/

---

I AM CURRENTLY PISSED OFF.

sign

i feel wired up inside
i hate this feeling
i really hate it

it's 12 and I have the whole concept for major project in mind
but i have yet to do anything about it in terms of visuals or words

i'm just too lazy to do anything now
but just getting angry

argh argh argh

i shouldn't be angry
but i am

i feel like just telling you to stop liking me
and you too
so its you and you
just don't like me

just leave me alone, seriously.

i feel stressed that someone treats me good and does not expect a return.
this is THE real world
i believe everyone's practical somehow or rather
so in some way u'll expect something

it's the first time i feel so stressed over this
i really really don't like you
and i already say it a few times
but, i don't know why, i thought truths are like knives
they pierce you and make you pain
but it doesn't seem to register in that sense

and for you
i don't know what are you treating me as

do u know what are punching bags for?
to be kicked and punched during practice
and left alone when not needed

i won't do anything for u
not anymore

i hate wednesday nights
actually it's just today i hate
i'm just feeling angsty

and after today's conversation
i actually wanted to work with this person
but as the convo goes on
i decided against it
it's not about the concept
it's about the character of the person
honestly, i feel tired
you know why lecturers in poly are different from teachers in sec sch?
lecturers don't spoon feed you
at times, its good to ask
at times, don't just keep asking how, think!

today is angsty little pearlyn sitting on top of a strawberry parfait and whining why isn't it chocolate
she's wondering why can't the sky have pink in it
or why the grass can't be a little cleaner
why earthworms look so unappealing
and why paper cranes can't fly

lemon puff biscuits, chocolate oat drink and eggs for supper
why no peanut butter?
or blueberry tartlets?
shall finish up supper.
and do my work

bye angsty world.

an end marks a start

2009-10-20T23:15:00.003+08:00

I am worn out

so tired.

okay, internship ended.
it ended well.

my appraisal was good
my superiors and colleagues treated me good
my farewell dinner was... fabulous

:)

merchant court ellenborough buffet was fantastic.
i love cakes
and i love fresh oysters, mussels, prawns, crayfish, scallops.... in short, seafood.

internship ended and that marks the start of school.

school started pretty bad.
bad in terms of heavy work load

it's the first day and i had like 4 plus hours of sleep
which is so not enough
during internship, 8 hours was like a practice
9 hours the norm

so school started out with major project briefing, meeting and proposal of ideas.
i saw all and honestly, i don't know what i want.

i have a vague idea in mind
but i don't know if it will work

today i had a scrumptious dinner
and i really don't remember having chicken wrap at itas
scary!

i don't really know how to express this feeling i have
maybe i am over sensitive
but i seem to think some people feel uneasy with me

oh wells

feelings and intuition, i shall stop my guessing game
i think for a moment, i am quite back to my little world of designing, designing, designing and more chiong-ing of designs.

school's a race
u can't stop to take a breath
u'll loose momentum and lag behind
when u catch up, u look around
and realise the crowd running with you previously disappeared
and u glance far ahead
and u see their back views as they pace steadily
u wish one of them would lag behind so u got a companion
but none of them even turn their heads behind to see if u're still part of the race

and it goes on

and u just can't catch up
but slowly and surely, through determination and extra effort, u can still pace up
and be back tgt with that running crowd u were with previously

life's a rat race

drown in your sorrows, o sleeper
if u think u can stop and reminisce on the past
or tell me sob stories that u hope might move me
think again

i moved forward
telling myself to be twice as strong
i hope u wake up and stop your nonsense

count, how many years till the big 3 arrives....

oh anyway, if you guys don't know, yest was daphne's big day, it's her 19th birthday! her 19th birthday on the 19th of Oct.
it was hard to plan all the surprise welcome and birthday celebration, but i'm glad, all went well
i realise who are the ones who really care
and the ones who don't really exactly care
i don't know how to say
but i learnt and observed alot.
and along the way
i realise a friend in need is a friend indeed

good night
world and you

monday is blue and black

2009-10-12T21:49:00.002+08:00

I wanted to talk about happy events that happened during the weekends.

but today, monday, my mood was just a total 180 degrees opposite

i feel really really really sad today

I don't know how to express how I feel today.

started from lunch

there's the lady called winnie.
she screamed at me once, a few weeks ago
and it was not because i didn't help her arrange her job schedule

but because my supervisor did not do it
i reminded my supervisor a couple of times
even when winnie threatened me, my supervisor still took her time...

and i got all the screaming, all the unhappiness....

and today i didn't know my boss will be driving down to this centre that this lady winnie works.
apparently they both are friends...
and winnie says if she see me she wouldn't have appetite

before this, the boss know about our conflict
and he knew it through winnie

i don't understand why winnie must tell him
i know u were angry
but do you think the person who got the scolding would not get angry?

and if you think about it, do you think a temp staff (she knows i'm new + i'm taking over the admin's place for 1 month)
would know all about the job schedule?

it wasn't my fault
but what i got, what was hurled at me was something i did not deserve

i feel maligned

terrible. atrociously terrible.

to make things worse, someone totally stood me up.
in other words, someone pang-seh me

i reached home at 9, with an empty stomach, an empty heart

today unfolded with a series of unhappy events.

i hate to admit
but today i cried very very bitterly
i don't understand why my boss even knowing the unhappiness between me and winnie must drive us down to have lunch TOGETHER!?

make us awkward
and she just made me transparent
she just talked to everyone but me

it's just terrible

and now, i really feel like telling on my supervisor

i hate how all these unfold

world, i hate you
i really do

weekend fun

2009-10-05T10:33:00.003+08:00

feeling kinda tired now

ok. now, i'm at my office and it's the time of the day 95.0 fm plays nice soothing music

anyway, i miss the sun that peeps into the earth through the clouds.
it seems to disappear
the sky is as gloomy as ever
as gloomy as the world is right now
natural disasters all over the world.
Samoa, India, Philippines, Indonesia...

i'm in love with this song:
Make it mine by Jason Mraz

i had much fun over the weekends.
i wonder if i'ld put on weight
but who cares, seriously.

went to changi airport on friday after work
carpark fees were ex mann.
6.35 for like 4 hours?

went on search for popeyes, oh there's 2 popeyes there. one at T1 and one at T3. someone won the bet so dinner was on me. lol. had Earle Swensens instead.

Earle Swensens is actually another Swensens just that they have a little salad bar whereby u can go pick up your veggies and appetisers before your main arrives.
I like it.
nice.

Sat was holland V.
had 3 Monkeys Cafe for lunch/tea
the food is not bad and the portions huge!

and i saw a super cute shih tzu

then later went to night safari
train of terror was goood

shall upload pics the next time.

sunday was family day
after gym was dinner at my fav place
and we had durian feast
lol.

back to work!
bye bye!

work alone

2009-09-29T15:32:00.002+08:00

hello peeps

i am in my office, alone and happy

yest i had sushi. yum yum. just ordered straight from the menu, not the buffet. and i had such a feast!

honestly, yest was a happy day
cause... people made me smile

people around me
yup yup
i am one happy girl

today, i'm happy too

i walked to the bus stop to realise i missed my bus but i didn't really care if i'm gonna be late.
anyway, i'm always the one who mail out their stuff everyday
i've to take a detour and post all the mails.

it happens like 3 times a week
and it kinda gets irritating

but nvm, take it in my stride

anyway, i wanna watch Fame some day
anyone wanna date me out?

gonna go 3 monkeys cafe at Holland V this sat.

i miss bestie.
i think i've been the bestest little girl these months

i've been shopping non stop
and pub hopping
no clubbing please

too tired of such partying

anyway H.H just told me about major proj
i'm SO excited
in groups of 2!

anyway, i know what i wanna do when i grow up

and that is gonna be a secret till then

let me tell you one thing,
my favourite flowers are half bloom champagne roses or pink dwarf clovers. i like pink daisies too but i would love it from friends only.

ok, back to work

bye world

little snippets of my life

2009-09-28T14:00:00.006+08:00

say hi to little fat rat!

i come to work, and people surprise me with nice, happy food.

alright, back to work.
tomorrow h.h is coming to my work place
:(

time for the real review of this company
sorry dudes but, i'll just be truthful
if it sucks,
it sucks.

so, gone be fake bosses and superiors
be ready to face the consequences of your actions?
haha

bye world.

alas, great week

2009-09-24T22:54:00.003+08:00

I am contemplating whether i should add my blog link onto my FB account.

I don't want someone to read it. but i blog about that someone pretty often

life kinda revolves around work and friends. school is partially out of the picture. i know it'll come back when internship ends. i wanna get a camera and a good phone that doesn't die on me

oh ya! i snapped a picture of a running baby rat. super gross. i hate rats big time. gross little grey creatures that always make me shriek.

anyway, this week had been great. it's shorter and more exciting than usual.

monday was a holiday. so, i had hi tea at Carousel at town with joy.
i kinda like their sweets rather than their savoury. their scones wasn't that good though. and after that, i made my way home.

tuesday i met up with ZB to pass him moon cakes that i promised. i will never go to AMK after work unless i really have to. like to meet friends or what. cause it's soo crowded. if i fall, i think i'll die of stampede.
after that, he drove me home.

Wednesday was reserved for the girls.
watched time traveller's wife. it was okay. not too bad nor impressive. the female lead's pretty! i kinda enjoy little catch-ups or crudely gossips among us. at times, i tell myself, i thought it's wrong to gossip? haha. oh well.

today's thursday.
today i had a really big surprise.
i went home and had dinner. and i kinda ignored my phone. when i return i found a message to tell me to go down.
was very surprised to receive the flower and moon cakes. honestly, i found myself smiling non stop.

i never imagined someone would drive all the way to my doorstep and wait till i reply to just make my day right.

it's been a long time someone did something for me. it usually didn't occur this way. i felt touched.

i can feel his sincerity. he was sick, but he just wanted to make my day right so, he went out to get moon cakes and flower for me. like wow.

however, i feel this very neutral feeling besides the touched part towards him.
i tell myself, we're just friends. so, what's the fuss?
but friends? with flower? and driving down?

i get all wired up inside
confused.

love is such a funny thing.
what if i say my heart is still retained in the hands of my ex-lover?

anyway, i made things clear
so, yup, as long as i keep my stand, i think all will go fine
i just want to establish a good career and not think about other things in life

for now, i'll concentrate on my work and of course, planning for my best friend's big day - 19th year old bash

i hope to make bestie smile ear to ear when she returns
and spend lots of time with her
try imaginating this:
alone with someone whom you can't pour your sorrows to in a foreign land that has limited bandwidth and expensive talk time

i wish i could cry when she cries
and laugh when she laughs

but when i'm here and she's there...
i can only watch her type her feelings out
and reply, wishing i could give her a big big hug.

i feel lousy
really lousy at times
i wished i could be there for her.

oh wells.

i've been really close to my colleagues recently
honestly, i really enjoy their companionship
they're really funny and nice people
and i'm gonna meet up with them after my colleague returns from taiwan

i'll miss them alot when i go back to school
work is fun ONLY with them

it's a common thing for us to 'love' our 'genuine' superiors.

okay, i'll go back to slumberland
looking at this post, i won't post this on FB

i prefer to keep things a little personal
good night cyber world

office hours

2009-09-18T11:32:00.002+08:00

i am in my office, staring at my laptop thinking, whao, friday is here and my log book is incomplete.

i had macdonalds for lunch
and i feel as though my pants is gonna split.

i don't know why part of me is dying to meet him
part of me just wanna avoid him
for once, i felt loved and wanted
but i know, not now... i got many other impt things waiting for me.

i am currently talking to my colleague online
and i'm on skype with daph
at the same time, communicating with edwin, msging some other people...

multi-tasking has become my norm.
if i don't, it does feel odd.
like, i've yet to do something
i check 2 emails a day

and i pick up calls and do photoshop all at the same time

i jot down client's names and notes and also email designers at the same time.

i live in a fast and furious world
and after the magical hand of the clock strucks 6pm, everything comes to a halt.

i'm back to the normal world, taking slow walks and noticing God's creation with a smile

i realise that i tried my best to love someone who doesn't love me all the same.
i realise... all these while, i had you on my mind, constantly... but for you, it ain't the same

i realise many times u silently expect me to be the one coming down, making u feel wanted and love but... well, how about me?

i tell myself, no selfish agendas. be selfless
it's so hard
yest, for the first time, i removed that strong image i portrayed.
i cried.
and wipe my tears with my pillow

even if anyone ask me, are you fine, i would say i am
for i will not reveal my weak side. so, yup, this is me. and this is my personal space which i love to ramble and rant

i have learnt not to expect
for every little thing i receive would be life's little surprises.
life is great, when positivity sets in

for now, back to my rat race in the office
bye world

wedding bells

2009-09-14T22:51:00.000+08:00

I did a facebook quiz. it was something like 'what kind of wife would you be.'

and my results was loving:

Loving
You are a loving woman. Your value is far above rubies (Proverbs 31). You are always there for those you love and you are extremely loving to your husband. You build him up, you allow him to make mistakes, and grow, and more importantly you let him be a man. You will experience long-lasting love.

i was bored and so i did it.
after the results popped up, i thought about my conversation with daphne and the recent happenings.

maybe i think too much. i'll just wait and see how everything will unfold.
i heard about zoe's sis's wedding.

whao.
it's so unexpected. and i think the wedding is very unique.
honestly, i'm very traditional.
i wish to walk down the aisle in a church and hear church bells ringing.

i want to wear a cream coloured gown with a long train.
my dress must have little rosettes of which the whole dress is semi old victorian inspired
i want it to be littered with little crystals and the gown made of either silk or taffeta with chiffon

and how can i forget my favourite champagne roses.
either champagne roses or pink daisies. i think roses would be better.
and they must be half-bloom. with a gentle scent of sweet rose aroma
the bouquet must contain baby breaths too.

ok.
that's my side of a fairytale.

honestly, i want a little puppy.
i've got a cactus which i named oasis.
i want a yorkshire terrier.. full white, male. i shan't reveal what i would name it
haha

if i lived in a big house.
i would love to have a husky or... a wolf/ fox-like dog.
one that i know is loyal to me.
i uphold loyalty u see.

ok, enough of rambling
shall sleep like a baby
good night people!

happy birthday

2009-09-13T21:59:00.000+08:00

today's the 13th of sept.

tomorrow is someone special to me's special day.
happy birthday!

many things happen over the weekend. weekdays were as retinal as usual. i hate the idea of next week. cause' decem won't be in the office... leaving me and LV and lan jie.

sign.

i would be very very very sad. she's like.. one of those colleagues i can communicate better with. sign.

over the weekends... i met up with a friend and i ran a big errand - sending a present to someone's doorstep. i kinda miss the place. i was praying before heading there that i would run into aunty and guess what, i ran into her at the lift landing... and so we chatted.

after which... i passed her the gift that was meant for birthday boy.

i don't know how to really express my feelings throughout that whole anticipation and that chat with aunty. i miss aunty so much. she's like... someone i count dear to me but yet... at times... i tell myself i can't treat her so dearly because it might cause awkwardness.

and for the first time, i admit, i nearly cried when talking to her. i was practically choking back my emotions and swallowing my tears. i just held it back...

i changed alot since the last time i saw aunty. so much, she couldn't recognise me.

i went out on friday and sat. i don't know why but... i have mixed feelings. it was the first time on the flyer with someone you don't like yet you don't hate. it was the first time i enjoyed a movie so much but felt stranger to the one sitting beside me. it was the first time i sat in someone's car thinking about a million and one things other than the driver.
i feel terrible now.
really terrible

i suck at this.
big time.

i appreciate companionship.. but besides that.. i wonder if that kindness shown was beyond friendship. i feel bad that you enjoyed yourself so much but.. on my side... i just.. solely looked at it as time spent with someone. i thought by making it clear while we were on the flyer would probably be good... but i felt really bad when i saw the disappointment.

what should i say now?

sorry?

sign. the worst is... you don't seem to get the cue.

argh. my middle name is not cruel nor frank. it's more likely to be soft-hearted or timid.

seriously, i feel terrible right to my marrow. i regretted going out with you. i wished you didn't treat me this nice. i wished you didn't pick me up and ferry me all around. i wished you didn't paid for the tabs nor did you suggest to go interesting places. i wish we stayed as cold as we used to.

i wonder if how i feel towards you was how my ex felt towards me during our first date.

i wonder if i ignored you, would you still persist and wait for me and ferry me to anywhere i wanted to go.

i wonder if you read this post, would you stop being so nice or stop asking me out.
cause i wished everything stopped now. for i will feel even more guilty and well, trying to avoid you.
and if you knew why i feel so unmoved by you, i believe you'll hate me.

sign.
2 birthdays in 1 week. 1 terrible feeling in 2 days.

i remember you telling me the importance of the hand brake in your car.
i think we should use the hand brake now.

feeling terrible and totally numb,
goodnight world

great aromas

2009-09-03T17:39:00.002+08:00

わたしはしんじゅです
watashi wa shinju (しんじゅ) desu.

i am now at work

gonna head out to meet the girls at 6.30 in town.

today's great. i have gotten myself 2 free cakes. a really tall choc cake (choc delight) and an apple crumble pie. YIPPEEEEEE

okay, shall pack up soon and go meet the girls.
hey peeps, i love days whereby superiors are too busy for me!
so just keep it this way (THIS GOES OUT TO ONLY MY SUPERIORS IN MY OFFICE)

bye world

working days

2009-09-02T21:57:00.000+08:00

Isn't it nice if life is full of dusty colours?
colours that are not too loud nor too soft
i don't know. but i love mornings.

they seem so quiet and has an unspoken beauty in it.

I chanced upon a book that had little bits of illustrations that reminded me of old Enid Blyton fairy tales. It had that vintage 1930s feel to it.
there was a short paragraph that went something like that, "point out how beautiful the flowers of the fields are, how brightly the sun shines, how crystal clear the lakes are or how sweet the sounds of the chirping of birds are. for all these were made by God"

how nice.

i love to go to work each day and pause on the fifth step and just take in a breath of this sweet-smelling fruitty aroma that greets me. It is this bottle of expensive pomegranade and sage aromatic oil that just adds that drop of cheer to my working life.

i like cold breezy mornings and i like to peek out of my bedroom's window to see morning mist settling away.
though i wish to snuggle in bed an hour or so more, i am excited at thoughts of warm, filling breakfasts and quiet morning walks.

i would love a tall glass of cold milk on a warm morning and a hot cuppa chocolate or coffee on a cold morning.

morning and evening walks make life pretty interesting.

my office is settled in a quaint area where convenience is rather out of the picture. i love to notice the colourful array of flowers peeping out from people's front lawns and the crystal drops of dew on leaves and grasses that remind me of babies tear drops from a morning's yawn.

working may seem like a retinal and boring set of to-dos each day. but i skip my way to work, observing little creations by God and just not thinking too much about each day.

life's great with silence as much as it is with noise and company.

i learn to just step a step back and bask in morning's beauty before stepping into a moment of busyness and endlessness.

alright.

buona sera.

count down, 8 weeks more

2009-08-24T11:28:00.000+08:00

Here I am again.

Back in silence, without a bang.

I eat little, just 6 plates of chicken rice a day
I am light, I weight a mere 100kg
I am a baby dinosaur!!

(:

it's monday once again.
counting down, it's 8 weeks till the end of internship. Somehow, weirdly enough, humans in nature are adaptive creatures and I have adapted to this working timing that I have to abide by.

Truly enough, I kinda like the fact that when I go to work at 9 till 6, my mind's more or less about the things I wanna complete and when I knock off or during weekends, I totally ignore that certain email inbox that holds more than a thousand emails.

My mind just switches off, and it's not like school when your mind is constantly thinking about homework, deadlines and when would block end.

But at work, there's no such thing as knock off early... but in school, as long as the lecturer bends the rules or lets us off early, school hours are shorten

honestly, I don't like desk jobs. U sit and get fat. And you do alot of typing which causes harm to the eyes and you're always in an air-conditioned area which makes skin dry.

:\

I am not fussy, but it's TRUE!

Anyway, I love my closet. My closet at home of course. I added in new shelves and... I just love it :))))

alright. If you notice the time, it's my working hours, so, I'm gonna bury my head back to work and just wait patiently for lunch break and 6pm :)

loving what my little world revolves around,
goodbye!

the beauty and ugliness of the world

2009-08-19T09:42:00.000+08:00

Now I understand that some mistakes are not pardonable with time.

SOme grievances and bite marks last a lifetime.

Be it be just so little, a pebble that caused you to stumble, why can't some people overlook other people's mistakes they commited years ago and just try to embrace them with trust

I understand what it means that the people you love the most hurts you the most....

sign.

you'll prob be wondering what am I talking about and what is this issue of trust about. I shan't breathe a word about it anymore but I'll always bear this in mind.

---

Oh well.
Everyone has grown apart. Everyone has grown up..

I wanna hang out with my friends again on a regular basis like how we used to when we were in secondary school. I miss the times when I can really throw aside the mask I put on and just eat what I craved for and do the things that best tickle me with joy.

The mask I put on is a mask I am forced to wear. I can't take it down. I will be put down for that.

Don't pity me for this, for one day, everyone would understand that kind of a fake front you have to put on.

Infront of your superiors and clients, people you meet and people you regard as 'friends'. life's a torture with that, but I still try to just smile under the mask.

I don't like internship. I don't like my work. I don't like to talk in a properly-measured-and-tailoured manner. I don't like to laugh professionally at the right jokes at the right time. I don't like to put on that fake front that is just so not me.

I don't like to wear office skirts and carry laptop around. I don't like to look convincing to others when I am not convinced myself...

I just want to do something I love. something genuinely me. To just design and be part of the behind the scenes work that does not require me to be what i am now.

This week is sucha bad week. Let me just drown in my sadness a little before I surface up to forget what I was in.

Goodbye world

Welcome, 4th week

2009-08-16T20:31:00.000+08:00

This is the end of 3rd week and beginning of the 4th week of internship. Well, 9 weeks to go.

I am SO counting down.

Ok, I don't hate internship nor do I find it really worse than school. Honestly, I love the part whereby besides 9-6, the rest of the time, I am literally free. No schoolwork, nothing cluttering my mind, nothing that tells me, you've got extra work to do. This feeling is Awesome and Priceless.

Whoo

Well, however, maybe I just wish that I could have an internship whereby I choose what work I do. But, I know in whatever I do, just smile, with no grumble or dispute and just do it.

Positivity is the way to go, yo!

alrights. I realise I have to watch my spending BIG TIME!! I spend an approx of 100 plus a week, excluding transportation and food. It's pretty scary. I SHOULD watch what I swipe. But I realise my mum's worse than me. And somehow, she doesn't realise that I took that on.

I have been dreaming about something lately. I have much free time, and it gives me room to come up with crazy ideas. Like coming up with DIYs, decos, room furnishings, tea parties (after internship?) and many others. Recently I made 2 shelves for my expanding wardrobe. I need more hangers and boxes too.

Ikea has become a annual visit for me.

I love wooden doll houses, tea cups and white dollies under porcelain gold-plated plates. I like the idea of sipping earl grey tea with lemon under summer skies, munching on gold dusted cookies and cupcakes with floral icing.

The idea of summer passing by and autumn approaching is a feeling that the new year would come soon, not that soon, but somewhat soon.

It's a feeling of the dawn of anticipation. Looking back, I realise I have been living at my current nest for 10 whole years. I miss the old uncle and aunty whom I use to smile to whenever they came over when I was at my previous house. Time flies, and at times, I wished it flew faster.

I kinda wonder what you're doing now. At times I hear the music you love ringing by my ears and I stop to just wonder, are you doing fine? I miss peering down at the unlighted lamp to see it being lit up by someone. Someone oh so dear.

Make hay while the sun shines.

I know, the time has come and pass.
Maybe time will just let some things fade away.

Bestie is now in Guangzhou. Goodie 2 shoes is now separated by distance. LOL.

Dreaming of a frosted summer that would never occur,
Goodbye cyber world.

2009-08-08T09:51:00.000+08:00

its the 2nd week of internship.

as in the 2nd week has come and go

i am so thrilled at the thought of it.. hee

alrights. later, would be meet up with daph and then going to timbre with mq. umm....

work has been ok. can't get any better, can't get worst. alrights. i need to do work.

start of internship

2009-07-31T09:36:00.002+08:00

I am currently at my workplace

sign sign sign

getting used to an environment is not so easy but well, so far, things are OK.

i thought i heard something the boss said yest. which well, i don't know if it's directed at me and if so, it's not a nice thing to say.

i may be just an intern for 3 months but i expect people to treat me as a colleague.

oh wells.
whatever.

as long as I pass my SIP, i can't really be bothered.
there are many things I learnt from here.
and well, i love the fact i am exposed to many things which i might not get a chance to do so in the future. like meeting clients and talking in the professional manner and etc etc.

it's rather fun i would say, the part of learning but at times, i constantly put on a false front because i am not used to them and would tend to shield or defend the true me. to them, i am most probably quiet, serious and just go about doing my own things.
i dress formally and make sure i am on time. and when i am in the office i don't run downstairs to grab a bite and stuff like that.

it's so not me
but it's the me here

pretentious? nope. just unfamiliar.

alright. i'm glad i'm meeting up friends over the weekends and dap today!
:)
that means much cheer and colour to my week.

i love learning
but i hate it when my learning environment is away from my comfort zone
but face it, i have to learn to cope with different working environment, don't I

ok.
that's all folks
off to work

depressed

2009-07-26T01:09:00.002+08:00

i just woke up

not just just but not long ago...

i just missed stella's bdae celebration.
sadded

anyway.... i saw something on someone's space. i feel totally lousy and sad. i don't know how to express this feeling but... it's the kind u feel like screaming, why is life like that. this is just so unfair, so cruel and so punishing...

actions come with consequences

sometimes the consequences are to be paid for many many many many years...

sign

i feel so left out
so alone
it's like i'm a stranger walking amongst the people i love
to be seen but not to be heard
to be known by just my mere appearance
and all else within hidden

sign sign sign

what could get any better
this week was just bad

late submissions
over exhaustion
working while studying
economically unfriendly transportation fees
zonked out before friends party
to see that comment on someone's area/space/profile

i hate this feeling
and i say to myself
how many times Lord must I cry out, just give me strength

sign sign sign

depressed,
bye ytihs dlrow

GOT MY PHONE? GET MY KISS!

2009-07-11T23:01:00.002+08:00

you've heard the news

oh yes. its true. i misplaced my phone. i just temporarily can't find it. i'll definitely find it back. mark my words

i'll kiss the person who finds it back

seriously, i need a miracle

you don't need much to put mt in the valley
for i am currently in one
experiencing one of my worst nightmares
to me, it's a horrifying experience that makes my appetite drop at who-knows-when
i hate this feeling....

at times i do feel like crying and storming around and demand that i get the right to watch the cctv, check people's bags, force and threaten whoever i categorize as prime suspect.

oh boy

and i realise that iplcoe (rejumble to decode) is kinda useless when it comes to tracking of phones. one word - disappointed.

lau ya lau ya lau pok pok

argh
i am chatting to someone on msn now
and that particular person is so odd
like seriously if i got nothing to say and i don't reply you expect me to st least say i got nothing to say... it's so senselss, so lame

anyway, i am not a big deal to you and you to me so... oh well, you get it?
ah nvm.

anyway, many things occured recently

i have been thinking to myself about everything.
at times i view situation from afar and i realise many times people jus don't communicate properly. if communication is better altered, don't you feel that harmony would exist.

i don't believe in dramatic teary break ups.
i believe in mutual agreement
i believe in unspoken understanding

it's this fine line that either you get it or you don't kind of thing
but well, i think many people would get it

honestly, both's at fault and so am i

one fails to self reflect deeply enough
the other fails to inform

one is insensitive
the other harsh

remember this, anger and frustration towards someone might occur only when one cares for another, when one labels the other 'people that concerns me'

everyone expresses themselves differently. everyone is unique.
some people ride on their emotions, others thinks before making every step, some simply don't express...

it takes time to know someone well, but a lifetime to embrace them totally

life is full of pathways that cross in such a rough manner, friction is produced
no matter how adverse the effects of friction is, as long as deep within we all learn to just bury the hatchet, to forgive and to well, be easy with the past, we'll find comfort in everything we do

lets put ourselves in others shoes and think in their persepective
is the person aware of my anger within all along?
am i too insensitive?
and so on...

i am in no position to judge
no position to scold
no position to say, you and you are wrong, i am right

for i was not honest in telling a friend something that a friend ought to know and allow things to happen

life's full of quests and lessons...
let this be a wake up call for all.

anyway,
i keep wanting to share this but i don't know how...
someone.... ah
i'll whisper to your ears if you fancy a little gossip
oops
i mean a little fact

-winks-

i love saturday afternoons,
relaxing at a cafe and doing random things

the thought of knowing someone out there would worry for you when you are down makes you feel rather assured, rather happy

"how many people in your contact list talks to you on a regular basis?"
"aren't those then the ones you call friends?"
now, i realise, some people whom i don't know are considered friends or not seem to get a position in my heart.
i realise manoj is indeed a true friend

isn't it great

i found a friend

to all my friends,
goodnight!

weird feeling....

2009-07-07T01:11:00.003+08:00

it feels strange

really weird

when i declare myself single
and tell myself, why not just give love a miss
and just live a really happy life not thinking about such insignificant stuff
i find it really almost impossible

not that i am desperate
but i know though i gave up on this which i felt is not suitable for me especially at such a time
there are times i feel, how nice it would be if....

life's full of surprises

its really weird a feeling
i don't know how to express it
but recently
argh
i hate this

argh argh

gosh

i shall keep little secrets to myself

i adore little dogs with beady eyes
awww
i never in my life expected what i felt was a feeling that i found back then in the days of innocence and experimentation to come back
but i know being older means taking the situation more... wisely

i shall discard irrelevant thoughts and well, just concentrate on being... the girl who I always know myself as.

the end
:D

HOT STUFF

2009-06-24T17:28:00.005+08:00

oh my oh my.

holidays are soon to pass by.

but that ain't a bad thing afterall. counting the fact i'm gonna graduate soon and there might be a chance to say annyeonghi gaseyo to education.

annyeonghi gaseyo means goodbye in korean in case you're wondering.

i'm in loooooove with goo jun pyo. he's sooooo gorgeous. aw -fans myself-
and and and i like that yoon ji hoo. oh my.

goo joon pyo is Lee Min Ho

and ji hoo is Kim Hyun Joon

melts melts
oh someone save me.
anyway, i finish boys over flowers within 3 days. and boy, i think it rocks. anyway they say there's a boys over flowers music drama that has been released. how cool is that. they say that it will be told from Woo Bin’s (Kim Joon) point of view, five years later. As the leading man, his female interest will be a newcomer actress. it will be shown on mnet.com and a maybe closure for Yi Jeong (Kim Bum) and Ga Eul (Kim So Eun). i hope to see a proper wedding for Goo Joon Pyo(Lee Min Ho) and Jandi (Gu Hye Sun) actually. HOW EXCITED

alright.

life ain't a fairytale. i enjoy basking in what i know as surreal, unrealistic and out of this world. at times i deceive myself for the sake of pleasure or fun.

to watch a film is to make me satisfied and happy.

hence i do so

i do wish at times fairytales don't just end there
so that i can smile at the thought of it and well, it makes my day fine.

oh what kind of designer designs clothes that ain't practical
not me
there are what they call couture but face it, clothes are meant to cover up areas not meant to be exposed

i can't stand apparels that do not fulfill the purpose of clothes.

that being said, picture time!!

that cap's design is made up of kisses from me, alicia, jacq tang, daph, kyley and ming qi. lol

try my cooking?
sheperds pie and broccoli

pinksy and greenie at pastamania

tomorrow with plans?

2009-06-19T00:05:00.003+08:00

Singapore's seriously hot

no wonder i'm a singaporean.

:D

thin skin

tomorrow's friday ONCE again.

i went for my interview today. one question made me really wonder. she asked me why I went to my course and what i really want to be..

i went home thinking...
i came in dreaming to be draping cloth on bodyforms and becoming a cutting edge apparel designer...
do i still wanna be one?

i'm placed in an area i'm forced to look at design in a different angle from others.
still with fabrics
but now, in a whole new perspective

i really wonder why I am going to this company
but i realise there's alot for me to tryout here
they really allow me to explore
and
they're nice people

kinda excited and anticipating for what i call surprises in life

i still can't believe i've got membership to attica just like that
you know what's so great about ladies night?
free entry, complimentry drinks and when you're one lucky lady, you get membership

if you're a hot babe, you get more free drinks
:D

don't get me wrong, i didn't get more free drinks
but bestie got some therapheutic massage. ROFL. she'll kill me when she sees this. okay, i know it was horrible. pardon me.

bro's making weird sounds beside me
he's doing what he calls pitching, what i call grunting
:D

i finished half a cannister of mister potato while watching tv
WHAO

i so can't wait for Father's Day
i wanna give dad something really memorable, meaningful and probably symbolic?
what's more? i get to eat good food cause' dad's card gave him some really fantastic deals.

tomorrow has got no plans... or did I had...?
to the beach?
cafe del mar?
strolling around town?
chilling out?

i wish i've got the power to extend my holidays.
i wanna cruise around in a bike in the wee hours of the morning, eating prata at 4 and falling back to slumberland at 6.

i wish i had time in my hands
and i wish swine flu didn't occur at all

did i tell u guys pinksy and greenie was by my side all day long today?
awwwwww.....
tell me you're jealous.

at times i do wonder,
what are you doing now

at times i ask myself,
have you stopped reading..

scones, bagels, tea with lemon and sugar...
how i love mornings
i wanna get some lovely morning breakfast
or maybe high tea to kick start some lazy afternoon...

who's with the dame?

dreaming of a bagel-ful plate,
goodnight.

fundamentals of life

2009-06-15T17:22:00.005+08:00

i shall set aside unhappy things

for now, i shall be one very happy girl

I AM HAVING HOLIDAYS!!!!!!! yay!

:D

anyway, bestie and i went to this really weird ooncept restaurant in suntec that day after the PC show. i really don't like crowds. horrifying place to be at when u hadn't had a wink the entire night.
this store is MOF (ministry of food)
i bet you've heard of it. it's like japanese setting in a modern take with a fusion of tassels. yes, tassels! u didn't read wrongly. goodness me. it's such a clash. sorry but, the setting's just weird. it's not a good cobination at all.

however, i find the pot of green tea served to the customers rather amusing. it's so traditional way of serving but in a modernt take. for that, 1 thumb up. the food ain't too bad too. i like the cold seafodd ramen. lots of nuts, veg, tomato, cucumber, etc. very refreshing and good. for that 2 thumbs up.

besides the trip down to suntec, the rest of last week was HORRIBLE
very bluntly, i realise the realness of biasness from lecturers to students and i realise how unoriginal and down right crafty some people are.

copying people's work not just ain't cool. it's called plaguarism. and you know what? just because others might not know does not mean everyone does not know. I know, you know and someone else knows, losers!!!!

i know i sound mean. but, oh well, that's life.
face it, some people just simply ain't talented. they don't score their way through talent or hard work but mere thick skinned copying or asking those around them to help.

smart asses huh?
oh well, you future co-workers know your tricks all
we know, you're nothing but a photocopier machine.
anyway, excuse mua, i can do that copying shit waaaaay better than u did.
so, get my point?
no?
dumb.

period.

Meet BOB!
he's friendly and loves to explore
and he's ming qi's little toy!

sunday was wonderful.
for once, i had the whole afternoon to myself.
no homework, no worries.

i sat in front of the telly, snacking on sultana biscuits, drinking fresh punch and stuffing a whole lot of sweets like chocolates, donuts and pudding into my mouth.
it was goooood. but the thought of sitting there and gain weight was a little scary.

i was watching old school shows. i watched tweety bird and road runner. There was one that had baby sylvester and daddy sylvester. I kinda like the cartoons with the babies in them.

today, i woke up real early.
at 7am.

i did my reflection journal and had a good breakfast.
curry, french loaf, pudding, bisuits and coffee.

i had brunch too.
fruits and some carbs

then had lunch in school
chicken cutlet with nacho and mushroom cream sauce

then i cabbed home with bestie and when i reached home,
i had more food

soon, it'ld be dinner.

oh boy, it's either i cut down on my food, or i hit the treadmill.
either which i wouldn't really enjoy.

maybe. just maybe i should take up kickboxing.
i shall then be a great kangaroo, blowing punches into anyone's fat face and kicking asses off the ground.

2 words. way cool.

-clears throat-
i have a very important announcement to make
i am gonna introduce 2 of my very special friends
they are pinksy and greenie!!!!

i believe by their colours you'll know which is which. unless u're colour blind.
I'M SO IN LOVE WITH THEM!!!!!

i've set up an online portfolio.
anyone can view it from now on.

i'm gonna place the link up here.... or maybe not
maybe if you ask me, i'll give
:D

my neighbour's playing the piano
sounds rather ~~awful~~

anyway, i've decided to give my room a neater touch to it
i've decided to call up the carpenter and get shelves done.
i shall have them delievered by thursday and i'll set them up.

i love this holiday
it does feel like a break
for once, i can breathe

anyway these are some of the pics i took at dome cafe during yf's bday.
this was my meal:

lobster pasta in angels hair.
heaps of pasta. big big portion

choco ice cream cake. yum

i heard about the company i'm going to soon
rather excited.
shan't go into details about my company

i don't know if i should tell how i feel here.
i don't really see how appropriate this is
but however, i realise that you are a very insensitive person who might not have figured out my attitude towards you.
if i do not write it out here, perhaps, you may never figure it out.

you see, if i were to very bluntly put across, you do not realise how insensitive you are at times. maybe it's not about being insensitive but you pretty much take things for granted.

i do not know when this occur but at times when you are in this character of yours, i choose to forgive and turn a blind eye, but i am carnal, and when such things build up over time, no matter how strong i am in forgiving, i'll give in to my old nature of turnin the game around and make things ugly.

for now, its not ugly, i'm just being cold.

i always believe that no matter how close i am to a person, privacy is important. let me say this just once, i do not like people to rummage my bag or take things from my bag without my permission. NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, NO TAKING FROM MY BAG. even if my bag's open and the thing is lightly placed on top, ask!

that's my rule.

i don't like it when people take things for granted too. i mean, face it, at times we do have cravings or whatsoever, but i do expect people to be 'automatic'. if it's not yours, don't take it as if it is and treat it the way you'll treat your own stuff. i don't like people who will take my offer for a sweet and just gobble down half a roll. or ask for my double sided tape and finish the whole roll. this is just being too much. too much greediness i would say.

no matter what. i believe people ought to be sensitive to other people's feelings. This is very very very very important.
i don't understand how some people can just go about doing or saying things that make it difficult for others.

if someone borrowed a scissors from you but loses it, offers to pay you back or buy a new one in return, can you not hold back harsh words and allow them to get you a new one instead of going on and on about the lost scissors?
i do believe when some things are lost, it can't be found back. if people are willing to find an alternative solution for it, would one not be flexible and adopt it instead of harping on the lost of a scissors?
i understand that the nautural reaction would be anger. but i do believe that if i were to lose a scissors, i would just expect a good scissors in return. no more harping over it and just, oh well, period.

so, yes.

my point is, self reflect
understand why people do not like oneself by self reflecting.

okay, that a whole chunk of words.
don't read it if you don't feel like it
or call me a b**** if you hate what you read
i'm just speaking my mind.

signing off,
a tummy full of gas :/

life's a game

2009-06-05T10:26:00.003+08:00

At times, i feel the world whizzing pass me

at times, i feel myself whizzing pass the things around me

life is a game of unprediction
fate is what people percieved as life's decisions made naturally, out of a person's will.

i will miss you, my friend
i'll remember a happy and innocent you
i'll choose what to remember, what not

i did not say my goodbyes
but down within
through prayers, through tears, i shall bid thy goodbye

for as long as i shall live,
i'll remember each of those close to me
you included.

staying strong
not sheding a tear
i avoid the newspaper and deep within
i cross my fingers and hope u said, Lord help me before you crashed life

silly me
yes very silly
for what's done is done

i saw from many just an expression.
stunned. shock. speechless.
its one of the times in your life you don't know what to say best. you don't know what to feel. you just wished it didn't happen. you just pray, Lord, tell me, it's not for real

if i stopped time
my letter to you is this:

Dear friend,
I hope you realise that love and life are the greatest things in life.
We as children, many a times only look at life one-sided. We choose to think on the negativity of life but well, why not look on the positivity of it.
Lest your heart be astray. Make hay while the sun shines and turn back when you still can. Regrets do come by. Some regrets make way for changes, others are irrevisible.
Lastly, remember about all those who loves you. Your friends, loved ones and family. And lastly, remember the Lord who is watching over you all these while.

Love,
your friend whom you may have forgotten.
but she who has not forgotten you.

signing off with tears and emotions within a bottle,
pearlyn

sunday

2009-05-24T15:28:00.002+08:00

a long overdued post

the block that passed was entirely awesome

i totally realised the meaning of
'putting God first and all things would come into place"

at times i do feel lousy with myself. i would go, i'm just some other designer; or i guess what i done was something someone else had ALREADY done. but well, no, i know i'm special.

so for that previous block, my class did a fashion show. it was great. i love how everything came into place. and we had a retail store. i was really pleased with the whole layout and design of it.

honestly, i did grin from ear to ear just looking at it from afar.
it brought to me this sense of satisfaction which i wanna experience again

i've decided to try to do my best from now on. in whatever i do.
i've never really gave my best :/

i know, it's a really bad attitude. you see, nonchalence made me pay a hefty price and this price came as a lesson and clever me learnt it fast.

cause' i wanna be a designer. a good one.
fullstop

i've got art teacher examination coming up soon

and well, it's neccessary; so, i shan't grumble about it

today's really scorching
the sun rays are so punishing and it glares onto earth in such a harsh manner
staying indoors with a cup of iced latte would be fantabulous

today i had light tea with mum at starbucks.
toasty bagels, cakes, biscotti and iced coffees
it really cheered us up as we chatted away

i told myself to do work after i come home straight
but ended up blogging

i bought this earrings stand that has a movable or rather spinable holder
now, i can place all my earrings up
and it'ld look like a mini shop in my closet
:D

i've got so much things to do....
and so much things to pray about
so much things on my mind
loads of worries too
:(

sign

i hate this feeling
it feels heavy
and makes me breathless

it seems as though i have not had a good rest since who-knows-when
i reckon this block isn't gonna be an easy block too

i can't wait for holidays
even if it's just a short two weeks break, at least let me breathe, before i take off like flash, speeding around life and fulfilling my endless commitments.

i just bought a book
titled ugly

i love to read actually
i know, not many people know that
but i love inspirational books or books that, oh well, speak to me

at times i realise that i've got a very different personality from those around me
i'm very very messy, kinda nonchalent, thinks alot, observes alot, laughs alot, does embarassing and silly stuff often, do as i feel, does not like to follow a set of instructions or whatsoever, believes being flexible and fluid is the way to go, enjoys jotting down things in life, sketches randomly on random paper, have seasonal taste buds for food, talks to myself at times, can be quite a drama queen, irritates my bro for no reason, spouts nonsense to anyone at home, tries to communicate with creatures like hamsters, yada yada.

and, i hate wet toilets.

don't ask me why

i wanna do draping some day.
i like the fact it looks effortless yet involves alot of effort
it intrigues curiousity to explore
and that makes me wanna try it out.

dreaming of baked sheperds pie for dinner,
bye world.

wake up call

2009-05-14T01:19:00.004+08:00

i realise to know a secret is great
to keep a secret is responsibility
but to share secrets is simply eye opening.

this month had been SUPER busy

it was crazy
that's the only word to describe it

i realised my flaws
and my strengths
and kept asking myself, is this what i really want to do? VM?

now, everyone has a certain image in my mind, i know everyone's strengths and weakness.

even she who seems to be so strong with great leadership roles, have got a few major flaws i've yet and will not expose.

i shall keep it to myself and i will learn as i observe.

what makes a good leader?

i don't know

i don't strive to be one
i only strive to do the things i want to do
and that is to design

this block had been a wake up call
stop being just arty
i know my personality well, at times i dream too big, at times i'm unrealistic, at times i run not knowing if the road infront of me continues.
just this phrase:
i do suck too

so yea. pinched; awoken; i learnt alot.

and all i can say is,
thanks everyone
i learnt so much, i'll improve more.
i know i can be better and this is definitely not up to standard
i may not be great, but i did my best, i believe i am good.

oh well
bestie and I make the best team.

i won't wish time to go back.
cause be humble.
stumble, pick yourself up, then walk
stop whining like spoilt brats
learn!

i wonder when will some people understand this

period.

thank God

2009-04-29T12:12:00.001+08:00

hey world.
hey girl.
hey people.
cheer up.

:)

i shall not be so negative
i shall not be so temperamental
i should complain less.

i thank God my group consists of kyley, ethel and daphne.
or i know i will die

brag to death

2009-04-27T20:37:00.003+08:00

i can't stand people who talks cockily

people who brag or people who say, " i think you should do your -whatever- like mine. less -blah- and more -blah-......."
or
"i think her logo is like a kinder garden's work"

like HELLO?

H-E-L-L-O

if you are SO good, try challenging yourself with people in the industry and go win them hands down.

pride is the start of many downfalls.

anyway, i'm not gonna brood over how some people's comments or insensitivity can get. it really annoys me how stupid ,i can say, people can get.

i've gotta come up with a moodboard.
this moodboard must give a clear direction
clearer than water in springs
clearer than the direction the brand has led us so far
but hey, how is that poss?

oh well.

directions are important as they lead you to a better finish

designing is like reading between the lines and playing with words
it is evoking curiosity and creativity into a vacuum by a sheer mention of a word

design has become part of a world of literature
words are sometimes a better explanation
but still pictures undoubtedly paint a thousand words

shall go do my work now.
gotta finish stage design by 3am
and my moodboard as soon as poss

i hate this feeling.
i try to find a reason to circumcise the negative feeling

if i gotta do what i gotta do
i will

nasty or not
it's all up to me
and my nasty grin

signing off with that grin,
pearlyn

busy busy busy

2009-04-26T23:05:00.003+08:00

i am currently trying to come up with 5 layouts/ ideas
busy-ness has robbed my weekend away

3 for store
2 for runway

i am glad i managed to do up the ppt fast plus the concept board which i still feel i could do better.

i just got my inspirations printed out and am currently scanning through each details to give me more inspirations

somehow, i have a picture in mind i do not know how to illustrate.

it's a very vague image that keeps appearing...
and this image seems to be some part of my imagination when i was young.

it's hard to explain.
but when i was young, i somehow LOVE geometry, lines, patterns, repetition and contrasting colours.

alright.

gotta go do my work.

i get a weird feeling each time you pass by
you are staring at me
but indirectly
i get this odd feeling that even when you are the center of attention
your center of attention is not the crowd
but me

vibes are instincts

haven't you heard that lady's vibes are almost always right?

haha.
i bet you didn't hear that cause'
that was probably a baseless theory i felt/ thought of

okay.
this time i will go do my work

to boost my confidence
tell me that i rock

PEARLYN ROCKS!

trying to beat the lights

2009-04-23T22:46:00.003+08:00

DEADLINES

dead
lines

gosh.

it's just week one and i've been lacking of sleep.

it's not good.

NOT NOT GOOD

well. today i went sim lim sq. had to get lap fix and i'm glad its done within 1 1/2 hr.
and, the whole fixing only cost like 50 bucks?

yay-ness.

i can't wait for all the work i have on hand to be done.
typing on this laptop seems weird.
somehow the fonts in the lap is just diff. it's as though it's bolded but yet it's not (cause i checked the control panel)

gotta seek advices from some IT expert.

anyway, i chanced upon this video. watch.
Miss youtube. SUPER lame. and the host is kinda bee-eat-chi.

alright.
time to do work.
rushing through work is like trying to beat red lights

i got so much to do........
bye for now

wednesday

2009-04-22T23:50:00.004+08:00

so yes.
NAILS NAILS NAILS and their crazy designs.

i did them yest.

alright. i know my face looks so huge. cause my hair is pinned up. and also, i look stunned. nevermind about the ugliness.

i'm so thrilled and excited and can't stop thanking God that the aust company got back to joy.

yipeeeeeeeeee!

i'm nearly jumped up when i knew about it. but image-conscious me just sat very calmly and smile - the presidential smile.

:)

haha. alright alright.

i'm contemplating whether i should get that pretty lace ups from asos. and also a pair of pleated pants/ wide legged trousers.

okay. no more holidays hence time to trim shopping and time to do more wise and good things like finishing up phase two of the cleaning up of my room.

tomorrow dad's gonna pick me up after school.
gonna get lappie fixed
or maybe even get a new one if getting it repaired costs a bomb

i don't like to waste such money.
on repairing spoilt stuff and all. i always think that if something's damaged/ spoilt, getting a new one is the best solution. however, i know getting a new one is not, well... the most pocket-friendly method.

i can't wait for this month to be over.

to me april is a month of uncertainty, of new beginnings. you see, it's the start of my academic year hence i feel this way.

may to me is the start of the hype of a better academic year. it's the month you learn more, adapt better, able to handle stress, more immune to irregular meals and less sleep, yada yada yada.

i was watching the news today and it was reported that those who sleep less than 6 hours of sleep a day have thicker waistlines or basically are fatter.

this is probably due to the lethargy of the body and the need for more glucose/ fat/ i-can't-remember-what-the-report said is higher.

so to all those who want a slimmer tummy, go SLEEP!
ps: i can't skype cause pc has no skype. after it's repaired i can do so (:

blogging right here

2009-04-22T13:04:00.002+08:00

my laptop ram spoilt.

it just died on me.

anyway, i'm now in school blogging.
and i seriously think that my lecturer stinks
hee

okay i shall type later...

shall go home now.
this is so random.

i have to:
do my timeline and job scope of chief vm by tomorrow.

okay
good.

time to go.
might blog later
(:

challenge

2009-04-21T02:26:00.003+08:00

i am currently using the pc at the hall

i don't know what went wrong with my laptop.
apparently, it is unable to start up due to some hard drive problem. the error message flash so fast i can't even grasp a single idea what this problem is about.

oh boy.

sian

i hope it's fine. i've got like all my photoshop in there and this pc has none of those programs.

and i think singtel's internet is driving me nuts.
the modem is seriously atrociously lousy! it's a speed touch modem. and the connection is very unstable.

it used to be better, before i upgraded.

ah. technology and its faults.
we've become reliant to it that when it goes wrong, and slows down, we go into a series of unhappiness.

yesterday i tidied my room.
that, was just phase one.

shan't upload the pictures till phase 2 and 3 is completed.

i am so not excited about lessons tomorrow :(
i don't like waking up early and joy still wants me to give her a wake up call. i seriously doubt i can remember in the morning.

though today's the official first day of school and genesis meeting was as boring as ever, tomorrow's the official day we step into physical, mental and emotional challenge.

2 tough subjects side by side, say hello to less sleep and more work.
ah. alright. school ain't so bad when u got friends; so, i shall complain less and...

i wanna go sleep now. but not until i find island shop's store picture!

ps: believe it or not. tomorrow or rather today (since it's 2.35am) i've got presentation!

last week of holidays

2009-04-19T00:40:00.008+08:00

oh well. i had a BUSY BUSY BUSY week.

today's clarence's farewell but cause bestie is busy i'm not going either.
cause' well, it's kinda.... awkward?

thou' we've all been friends for a few years... we're not so close and all... heh.
anyway, it's just me. i'm like that.

ok so last week i was quite frustrated/ sian/ annoyed by the thought of school's opening.
firstly, due to our lecturer's email, we had to do work in advance to the commencement of our semester.
so, my group had to go visit some B.I boutique or rather boutiques and do site survey.

I HATE SITE SURVEYS

for goodness sake.
i hate sneaking/ peeping
taking window displays sneakily and checking out prices and i actually took photo of their labels.

i took photos of it today.
super heart throbbing sensation
whoooo

but it feels like MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

i went training on tuesdays and saw small jac.
super super shock to see her working in the same company as me and bestie and kaeting and clar and averia and and and......

what a small world.
it's practically an art centre of tp design studs.

and i did the sample for the kids handicraft
:D
that's my table at home... i was painting it at home at 12.50am.

koala bear.
awwwww.....

thursday was museum day.
went to visit the national museum with joy, nic and mkz.
took a look at the christian lacroix displays.
one word - AWED

from the fabrics used, to the detailing, to the process, the drawings, yada yada...
it was very inspirational
i love the drawing...
i mean i've always been mused by process works and drawings and paintings.
it's just this part of me that remains throughout my growing up from a kid till now process

i realise i have a weak spot.
i love love love nude colours, dusty colours, chiffon material, very Queen Elizabeth's era's clothes of full skirts and gowns that look like modern era's costumes or probably wedding gowns? haha.

anyway i am feeling super pissed off right now cause apparently my mum shooing me off to bed at such an early time.
which ticks me off and makes my blood boil.
like HELLO? i'm 18 gg 19, i do not need bedtime curfews too!

anyway, it's actually because there was this once i went to snow city and i hurt my back.
apparently acc to my bro/ dad (can't rmb who said what) it's because i was too light and so i hurt my back while sliding down.
so now, my back is pain... at i think... the same spot...
hence the pestering of me to go sleep now now now now

my tummy's growling :/

i've spent alot during this holiday. i feel guilty. and really bad. however, tomorrow, i'm still going out :D
gonna head to ikea too. cause dad's driving me and my family there so i think monday i ain't gonna go with daph... unless she needs stuff from there.

monday's genesis meeting!
genesis meeting is the first meeting of a fresh new academic year for my school

and during this meeting, i'll be awarded with the cert for participation in cdi tgt with the cdi peeps.
cdi had been fun
or at least, the shokudo part
-evil grin-

with cdi, i can go for OSIP
BRAVO.

okay, shall end post here.
good night world.

video clips

2009-04-14T02:22:00.003+08:00

it's a beautiful day.

apparently, it's about 2.20 am in the morning and i'm feeling all good and gay.

i love watching little video clips. that's why i visit youtube often.
anyway, watch this video.
it's way awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zP1em1dg5k&feature=player_embedded

i watched it on fashion nation and boy, this is what i call advanced technology.
this company is called FRONT, a Swedish design group and these are their masterpieces - Sketch Furniture.

Pen strokes made in the air are recorded with Motion Capture and become 3D digital files; these are then materialised through Rapid Prototyping into real pieces of furniture. Motion Capture translates motions into 3D-files. Rapid Prototyping is a technique that materialises 3D-files. A laser beam builds the 3D-file layer by layer within a liquid plastic material. Every 0.1mm the liquid harden by a laser beam. After a few hours, the 3D-files come out as materialised pieces.
(http://www.frontdesign.se/sketchfurniture/)

so basically, just imagine waving your magic pen in the air and drawing your dream furniture pieces and having them formed into reality.
whoo.
double whoo hoo.

i'm still watching love or bread. it's a taiwanese drama if you're wondering.... i kinda like that defy-gravity bun, tied at the top of the head and is voluptuous looking from all angles. umm...

i feel really happy after watching this clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vq6b9bMBXpg&feature=player_embedded

you can never (maybe not never) achieve this in SIngapore. people aren't spontaneous and many people would gather to watch, some would go "siao ah" or "so lame". trust me. but well, seeing this makes me happy. it's like an impromptu musical. um... i would love to join in.

my room is always undergo-ing some kind of transformation. maybe not this time but, i'm always thinking of revamping my room, giving it a fresh touch, giving it a new look, a more "me" room, a sweet florals and fauna room or a chic hotel setting room.......
maybe, my room needs to just be tidied
and stays this way.

my mum says all i know is eat and sleep
hinting me that i'm fat
or lazy
or... that i'm like that of a pig?
umm.....
i shall pig in now then :D

YES! my download's complete.

whoo hoo. i think i waited 3 hours 40 minutes and 39seconds.

anyway, i think milk works wonders
-wink-
tell me it's bigger!!!!!

hahahahaha.

currently listening to and obsessing with: secret by maroon 5.

silly frilly milly

2009-04-07T00:50:00.003+08:00

i don't like to be controlled
ugh

anyway, i chanced upon something really funny
this person in my friend list whom i don't know took a test. and the results are so funny.

take a look

tomorrow i'm definitely going out
cause i just want to

lol

daph made me feel guilty
she wants to be more thrifty by spending on what's neccessary.
if i can put it this way

i spent alot since hol begun....

oooooops

guilty pangs working up.......

my shopping list includes 3 shoes, 2 skirts, 3 dresses, 2 top, 2 scarfs, 1 shorts and 1 jumper.

my previous list was: 3 shoes, 4 skirts, 8 dresses, 3 tops, 2 scarfs, 1 shorts, 1 bag and 1 jumper.

it's shopping list
not to-buy list.

so heave a sigh of relief, earthlings.

i shall be less frivolous
i shall be less rash
i shall be wiser

money should be spent wisely
:D

confessions of a shoppaholic is such a must-watch
cause...
daph has now become a wise shopper

WOW

tomorrow is tuesday
and the day after is wednesday

i have the tendency to forget days.
oh boy....

i miss the times when i know what to do when i've got nothing to do

i don't want to be that person who only knows how to earn money, spend money and use the computer.
my life shall be more useful from now on

it's a nice night
i shall do what i ought to do
- SLEEP!

signing off,
yours truly

2009-04-05T15:42:00.004+08:00

i'm so in love with erin wasson ('s style)
------------------------------

i can't wait for next week!
and i got no idea why....
um...

i've got so many things in mind.
many things i wanna do
and many things i wanna buy
need more boxes (again!)
and shoes

i love holidays
and i love to start my day with salad, oatmeal cookies, mixed fruits, brewed coffee, soup with bread and eggs.

mornings are lovely.
birds are chirping
air smells good
trees are lush and green
and i'm feeling all happy and gay

alright.
i shall do what i want to do now
bye

i wanna sleep

2009-03-29T00:21:00.008+08:00

it's finally THE holidays.

oh well.
the past few weeks had been hectic.

one word - hectic.

in a frenzy to look for the perfect guy,
i found the perfect love.
i realise not the perfect guy
could give me the perfect love but rather
the perfect love showed me how a guy can be perfect.

that was a random thought
but i remembered the words someone left me with
it is hidden in the paragraph above

if letters could be sealed with a kiss
i'll send a thousand letters
each sealed with a kiss

alright.
holidays holidays holidays.
it seems as though i just blogged about how holidays rock not long ago.

that's weird.

i wanna go thailand.
wanna go shopping and do my nails
:(

had sakura with ming qi, kyley, joy, daph, iris, jj, angela and angela's bf on friday. the spread was alright. wished that it was better though.

and today, my tummy's been rather upset.
cheer up tummy!
today my tummy was really funny
it was runny though the sky was sunny
i love it when it's sunny
cause i saw ugly barney
he/she was out looking for money
like bees looking for honey
i don't live on a land that's weird and funny
just that my thoughts are a little runny

tomorrow, i feel like ponning the meeting
pon-tang-kia

those were the words used to describe me when i was in secondary school
thanks to my very nonchalant towards studies, career and life attitude
-curtsy-

who says only the obese/ fat is discriminated (at times)
skinny people too
stereotypical mindset

my shopping list is up
shopping!
i don't think i'm the kind who likes to go under the sun and get burnt anymore
i think it's called sun-tanning
see, who says it's a bimbo speaking
-THE wink-

alright people
time to sleep
ah. i hate early mornings
why oh why do i still have to rise early next morning?

bye

I want this HP Designer laptop because.....

2009-03-08T18:13:00.007+08:00

I want this hp mini 1000, designed by vivienna tam.
It has a beautiful peony inspired illustrations on it's cover and a deep sexy red for its entired body. What's better? it has a small frame and weights really light.

this is so crafted for that style-concious career lady.

I want this laptop for it would make life so much better for me. Instead of carrying around my 2.5kg laptop, my shoulders would not be strained if I had this laptop instead.

I have to bring laptop around most of the time, hence, weight is a crucial factor for me.

This laptop would also enable me to have fun when hanging out with my friends. I can surf the internet with my friends even at ice-cream cafes, starbucks and more. As it is light, I can bring it around everyday.

What more can I say? This laptop is a great fushion of style and technology.

I am a fashion student. Style is an important factor that I do not compromise in most circumstances. This laptop is a fashion statement on its own. It's like a clutch. Face it girls, you've got to admit you'll be jealous if I own one.

The peony flower prints are so feminine, just like the clothes Vivienne Tam designs. On top of that, it has this unique flavour of modernity. The design do not restrict ethnicity or anything like that. It is just suitable for any lady who knows how to appreciate the beautiful design of this laptop.

Though I do not restrict my designs, I tend to prefer florals, feminity and drapes. So yes, florals are a weak spot for me.

I have always admired Vivienne Tam for I feel that the fusion of east and west is something I am unable to do well till now. She is able to fuse 2 very different fashion together, adding in modernity and feminity. This is something I salute her for.

Don't you agree her designs are seriously nice. I love the silhouette of the first outfit. Especially the jacket and the very bold print. It's beautiful.

hp is known to come up with sleek and nice laptop designs.
In addition to that, they are a reknown brand that is reliable and has a good range of products that are reasonably priced.

All in all, this clutch-like laptop is a real beauty.
I still remembered looking at it from the website and staring for very long as I always admired Vivienne tam’s work. More so, with her new collaboration with hp, it makes this laptop a must-have. I think not just me, many ladies out there fell in love with this laptop. I sure can’t wait to get my hands on one of these, and make those ladies out there green-eyed.

BUSY YSUB

2009-03-08T16:00:00.002+08:00

it had been a busy week

last week was hectic, tiring, full of skipped meals and late nights, staying back at cad lab and all.

it wasn't at all fun, but well, i thank God for it.

at least, i had good buddies that made tough school life enjoyable

let's see:
i went for my school's grad fashion show
and boy, i'm so inspired by their works.
and i saw my friend modelling
hi M!

had presentation on friday

and grandma's bday celebration on sat

apparently, my aunties were saying i'm too skinny. and some were asking what happened. some teased me to teach them how to slim down. actually till now, i don't really know how to explain the long story of my weight loss

it's a long process that did not involve eating disorder. i'm perfectly fine.

my cous said i don't look like the si-wen kind. hey. i'm like super si-wen can

i think i'm in love with nude colour. i like pastel shades too. and the bimbo streak of me is oozing out.

did i mention my zhng-ed ipod?

shall upload pics once i've done my work

oh shooots!!!!! today's 8th march!

okay peeps, if you are between 16-25, can you help me complete this survey?
Click Here to take survey

i've got to do work now.
love all those that help me!
muuuuuacks

a fine day

2009-02-25T21:13:00.003+08:00

i wake up each morning, snuggled under my pink quilt, thinking, thank God, it's another new day.
my day starts with toast/ scones/ fresh muffins from the bakery. Sometimes along with it, i'll have cookies and a fruit. followed by milk / coffee.

today was just the same

i smelled the aroma of brown rice with carrots and omelet with vegetables wrapped in it.

that's lunch

breakfast was my usual of toast/ pasteries from the bakery. sometimes cookies, sometimes scones and sometimes muffins.
along with it i'll eat a fruit and drink some hot cappaccino

today's been great.

2 days off last week
and this week, today i'm off.

so, i booked appointment for facial, went shopping and did up my nails.
i like cooling mask
it brings me to the next level of comfort

i am sad by the fact that the cd adele passed me isn't the cd i'm looking for
i really don't know who else uses Acer Aspire laptops
and i need a windows vista cd desperately

i don't hate you, but i hate the devil in your eye, when i saw your true form.
however, i rejoice at knowing others are wary of you as much as i am.
psychotic babi

i need to go up and get my bottle.
but i'm so lazy to shift my ass up
and being at home gives me many reasons to stay at home
but dressing up gives me a FANTASTIC reason to go out

mum says, "no more buying of clothes! why do your need so many clothes for?"
and i told her, "but your wardrobe's twice the size of mine"

ladies and their issues with wardrobe space

he walked pass me and said, "beautiful..."
the girls in blue uniform screamed across the square, "Paul twohill, rock on...!"

life's amazing

i love to retrace back those memories i had with you
i visited the place we first met
i could see your smiles then
and hear your gentle, deep voice
however, the embrace i fell deeply in love was gone
i feel helpless in my wealth
poor yet rich
miserable yet happy

juxtapose

sweetened valentines

2009-02-15T16:02:00.002+08:00

:D

valentines day
i saw many balloons, many roses, many plushies, many couples and much insignificance.

conventional thinking leads to ordinary doings.

ain't being extra-ordinary, being a non-conformist the trend?
hahaha.

i noticed a few familiar faces when i strolled along town.
and i ran into yan at clarke quay
she was going to yello jello

oh, i saw 3 girls stuck at the top of this bungee thing at clarke quay.
it was quite eye-opening.

what makes valentines great?
not the food, nor the gifts but companionship.

:D
it's my pleasure, dude

reality check

2009-02-09T22:19:00.002+08:00

i'm grieved.
excitement into disappointment.

guilty, i am, once more
over being covetous
standing atop 3 grounds
and enjoying the best of 3 worlds

however, now, i'm back to earth
zonked back to reality

the moon's exceptionally round today
within 10 years, today's moon is the fullest

i've got alternate plans in mind.
for this coming saturday.
it's 14th of February

if time turns 2 years ahead
i would still be smiling ear to ear
knowing deep inside
someone i like is gonna ask me out

but 2 years have passed

i stand here pondering
wow, time really flies
and feel totally discombobulated

i agreed not to turn back
i agreed not to bother you
i agreed not to miss you
i agreed to just let the done be done

i might do something unprecedented, nope, maybe unwonted
*wink*

i'm to upload this picture of a incredibly appealing wagashi
actually it's a set of 3
i dare not open it up and eat
:D

but, thanks whatsoever.

i like tea with rakugan

i am so used to being brushed aside
i am numb to being unwanted

time will tell what scars have done
scars have made a seedling become a tree
scars have toughen up a young lad

tears, oh tears, be gone, with the wind

wildlife

2009-02-05T20:34:00.003+08:00

a guilty desire led to a array of surprise. till now, i am drunk in an atmosphere of attention.

the limelight's on you.

work that thing and let a smile

i fell in love with a country
not because of its environment
but because of its people

i like this feeling. it tingles with glee.
it's full of un-expectancy. full of mystery.
it's strange how things work, and how emotions flow
for i thought i will last like this for a life-time, but now, i doubt so

i wish to probe further. but boy, hold your horses, don't let him know.

i still wonder where that sweet aroma and warm embrace went.
i regret letting it go
still again, i know, spilled milk cannot be recollected and drunk

but i'll never forget that night. when everything was right
i can't erase away that picture of your smile and your arms around mine.
and what i love most, was that phenomenal wink and your fingers sliding across mine.

now, i can't wait for saturday.

ooh lala

2009-01-30T16:10:00.002+08:00

i am soooooo glad school's out.

whooooots.

CNY was okay.
CNY means chinese new year.

it's the year of the ox. so, it's happy 牛 year.

lol.

i didn't get many ang baos, i even gave my parents some money and i had a bad CNY experience.

i shan't talk about it. i don't have a full understanding of my background, my heritage, what my grandparents or ancestors are like, where they actually come from, yada yada.

i grew up in a rather messy background. my parents are great. and it's not their fault. at times i think it's my grandparents fault. oh well, at least my parents gave me a good childhood, though i grew up, in knowledge of what evilness and many nasty other things really mean.

well, that's mankind.

mankind ain't nice and kind all the time. no, most of the time.

ah.

oh boy.

alrights. today's a break. i've got no lessons and no homework, and this sat, i've got no work. yipeeeeeeeeeee

:DDDDDDDDDDDDD

turn the lights off baby.
let the music rolllllll

time to party.

in 5 hours 30 mins

i miss being a kid.
i miss not having to think about the welfare of others
i miss running around and squeal and scream
i miss playing with other kids i don't know
i miss running about during dinner time
i miss fluffy and my favourite pink teddy
i miss the bedtime stories i force mum to tell me
i miss drinking powdered milk before i sleep
i miss supper - cookies with milk
i miss walking to school everyday
i miss having a little garden
i miss lucky, my fav terrier
i miss seeing mum waiting for me at the gate after class
i miss the bright sky after school ends everyday
i miss having lunch with uncles and aunties who dote on me
i miss having attention
hey wait, i didn't really get much attention from young.

oh wells.

i miss childhood.

i miss that carefree me. that needn't worry about anything.

i don't have to strive to get the top in class

now, if i slack, i'm bound to die.

back to reality.
time to grow up
okay, i've got to finish up some designs
:(

stressed

2009-01-14T15:09:00.004+08:00

oh boy

i feel so drained out. so exhausted.

i need a break. seriously, if i go on walking like a half-waken zombie, i'm not gonna survive for long.

school has been tiring, stressful and boring

well, learning Japanese is cool. way cool. but i think having Japanese with Sourcing and Costing seems to be wearing me out.

the day before yest, i slept at 5 and woke up at about 7 to rush for my morning class which starts at freaking 9am.
I had to print some stuff so i headed school earlier.

yesterday, i slept at 4. and i woke up at 7 to rush to school to print my stuff for Jap presentation. guess what? i left my thumbdrive at home. and boy, it was panic at the print shop. buzzed mum up and told her to email me my documents.

and thank God for Samantha. she had a laptop and she hadn't print her stuff, so we went to print tgt.

for some reason, sensei(teacher) always misses me. in other words, she just doesn't see me. she came up to me and said i came class very late. i said i came very early but i left to print my notes after my mum emailed me my doc. and she went, really?

am i that invisible?

school's tiring me out.

so, i can't wait for CNY! (Chinese New Year)
i know many people think of CNY as boring and an occasion whereby you've got to face your whiny aunties, nagging uncles or even competitive cousins.

this is the culture.

what more to say

i just smile my miss-universe smile, tilt my head a little, let out a dainty giggle followed by a gentle lift of my shoulder or better known as a shrug.
then i'll say something like, "designing is my passion you see" or "oh no, i'm not getting taller/prettier/smarter/whatever-they-praised-me-about. i'm still the same"

:I

anyhoos, i'm trying to get my head cracking on my exercise 3 but i just don't feel like. i wanna roll on my bed and pretend to be dead.

and i'm pretty sick and tired of PUBLIC TRANSPORT in Singapore. to think that bus fares and mrt fares were raised but yet we get long waits for buses (18 mins! hello? busy girl here speaking!!!?), squeezy buses with few seats, freezing cold temperatures in the bus(human refrigerator?) and lastly jerky buses that never fail to give the customers a roller coaster ride each time.

tsk tsk.

try encouraging people not to get cars? try harder!

i'm so gonna get a license AND a car.

CNY means more more moolah.
and time to party too.

this is random.... but i want a dog :(

toodles.

lamp post

2009-01-10T23:33:00.003+08:00

i am so tired
boy.

i always look out for that second lamp post. its silence makes a noise in my head and its presense cause a stir.

the lamp post tells stories of good memories.

and right now i just feel tired

restless

2009-01-04T17:35:00.003+08:00

i feel restless
i feel bored
i'm drained out.

but not physically.

gosh. school's starting in about 15 hours time

there's something so magical about the word school
it causes you to be bored and restless
and makes your mind race through what you did during ur break
it makes ur morning seem so dull
and the birds just seem to stop singing
the sky turns gloomy
and the traffic becomes worse than usual
your tummy's would be constantly rumbling for munch-break
the only thing that manages to catch ur senses
and perk you up
is the voice of your friend's yawn
and the diffusion of the water vapour from their mouth on your skin

-----

i feel so fake at times
i put on a pretense,
and be a happy, enthusiastic, ever-laughing, cheerful, optimistic, big-hearted

i kinda had enough.
i'll just be me.
this is 09
a new year
new year should have new beginnings
it should have new resolutions
and new rules

i finally realise how lonely i am
that with all that hype around me
i am just alone
how many true friends do i have among the thousands?
or how many friends can i even really talk to?

let's not say true friends

i'm a jigsaw puzzle piece
that has yet to find
where i fit in
i just don't fit where i am now
cause' there's this gap
between the right piece and me

boy, 09's gonna rock
i know it would
let me see how my 18th year gonna be like
and change from 08

and i still wish to live on my own
its like a dream most teens want
it'ld be something i'll achieve this year then
or rather try to

i'm sick of naggings.

no one's gonna stop me
from going all out
against the rules

and yes
rock on 09
pearlyn, rock on

18th year of fun

2009-01-02T17:31:00.012+08:00

okay this shall be a post on my 18th birthday.

first the celebration with poly friends.
had lunch with joy, jacq and dap at waraku.
after which was ice cream at swensens

celebration with secondary sch friends..
ali yeo, sy, stella, yen fenn, mz, ah ma and me!

we went chomp chomp

and these are my gifts..

at night, me dap and sy went clubbing.
lol.
we went home club. this is the funniest experience ever.
never in my life i experienced a guy asking me to be his dance partner. he was soo shy.
and he dare not go too near me.
he and his 2 other friends were rather shy too. and we look like we were playing that forest and squirrel game.
and there was a desperate who came behind me actually he put his hands on my hips before i inched away. cause he reeked of vomit. ewww

i look forward to lady's night at zouk.

no more home club please..

i had a funny thought.
well, i do wish to keep it to myself to avoid embarrassment.
this is the cause of letting me go.....